Blogocentric Formulations

All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong

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DAY 21

Song: "Where I Belong"
Artist: Building 429
Album: Listen to the Sound (2011)

Ever since my wife and I started going to church regularly again (more than two years ago), I've been steadily listening to more Christian music, particularly Christian rock and pop. I'd never really listened to the genre before because, well, I don't identify myself as strictly Christian, and I kinda steered clear of religious stuff for a while. But the church we attend has a really great worship program and they're always introducing new songs, which in turn makes me want to go home download them, listen to them, find new songs that are similar, etc. (I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I have a serious music compulsion... sometimes I can spend half a day just wandering from suggestion to suggestion on Pandora, Spotify, iTunes, etc. looking for new music.)

Anyway, I definitely tend to gravitate more toward the songs that have to them. I'm not really super-psyched about the slower and softer songs; I like stuff that you can really tap your feet to, or shout out and sing along with (when I'm in my car alone, of course ). One of the things that I've noticed about Christian music, though, is that sometimes I'll like a song even if I don't really connect with the lyrics, and this is one of those songs that I think is really powerful, but that I have a hard time identifying with.

I totally get the idea that - in the Christian faith - the concept of "home" isn't here on this earthly world, but rather in Heaven with God once we're, as Shakespeare wrote, "shuffled off this mortal coil." But for me, there's something inherently sad and tragic about feeling like there's nowhere on Earth where someone has the feeling of being safe, secure, and a place where they can let their guard down. I'm one of those people who tries to live in the moment and believes in making the best out of the circumstances you're dealt, so the idea of someone never feeling comfortable in their life is a strange one for me. Sure, maybe my eternal home is somewhere else, but while I'm here on this planet in this life, there should be a place I can go that at least approximates the feeling of home.

I'm probably missing the point of the song; lead singer Jason Roy has said that the song is about how nothing on Earth can ever fully satisfy us because it's not where we're ultimately destined to end up... but for some reason this song still has a bittersweet, tragic sound to it that always feels a little off, especially when I'm listening to it with other people who find it incredibly uplifting and energizing. I suppose this is all part of my continuing faith journey, but wow, this song gets me every time, and not in the "How awesome is this!" kind of way.