Shellyville Continues

Self-care?

Hello Sunshine,

Well my attempt at self-care hasn't been noticed. It seems as if my attention to myself is at an all time low. I think I do a good job of taking care of myself but when my stress is up, my tears come down.

I guess I am not suppose to be overwhelmed. Stressed out. Worried? I am not suppose to be mad at the school for not educating my son? I am not suppose to be mad that I have no control over this problem? I am not suppose to be upset that my son is losing his edge. Well guess what? I am pissed!

I am tired of being a strong willed crazy person. I am tired of seeing this self-destruction take over my life. If I can't vent the reality why would I hide my feelings? I used to live in a fantasy world. I would hide behind the walls of Shellyville and pretend that everything was perfect. I never let on that I was upset or disappointed. I was the perfect wife.

I am not her anymore! I don't live in Shellyville. I am not perfect and I am sure as hell not Married!!

I can handle this but at what cost? I am slowly and without a doubt losing my edge. I see it passing me by. I see the mistakes I make clear as day. No amount of fantasy and good looking is going to deter me from reality.

I am living it.

Love,
Michelle