Amygdalia's Blog

Worry

I am the consummate worrywart. I cannot do a thing to stop myself, other than take anti-anxiety medication. Sharing what I’m worrying about with my husband doesn’t help ease my worry, but it’s still important to do.

As soon as I settle down, my brain starts to go . . . sometimes it’s just a laundry list of things I need to accomplish, things I need to remember, etc. Other times my anxieties spill over into my thoughts, and I’ll spin utterly out of control, worrying myself into a frenzy about missing my flight, or being in a car accident, or someone I love being in a car accident, and on and on . . . and it keeps me from sleeping, it keeps me from relaxing, and sets me into panic attack mode.

What good does worrying do? I’ve heard people say “why worry about things you cannot control?” My reply – why would I worry about the things I CAN control? It’s the things I CANNOT control that I’m going to WORRY about!

So last night I ran the gamut of all my usual worry topics – what am I going to pack to keep myself warm on my trip? Will the kids know where to go after school while I’m gone? Will I get stuck in traffic on the way to the airport? Will the weather be crappy once I arrive? Will I get into an accident while I’m away? Will my husband get into an accident while I’m away? What will happen to the kids if he gets into an accident while I’m away? And on, and on, and on . . .

I finally got to sleep, after taking some anti-anxiety medication and waiting an hour.