Death and Relations Can be Painful

One-Sided Relationships

One-sided Relationships

It has always puzzled me when I learn that a relationship that I am in appears to be mutual on the outside, but up close, it is one-sided.

Okay, let me explain one-sided.

One-sided is when the person always want to help you; are always there when you need them; you can always count on their support etc.  They never say no

I have a 40 year plus relationship with a friend that I and my family love dearly.  She has been there for births, birthdays, graduations, sickness, deaths, etc.  She has always shared in our life events.  We see her as family.

On the other hand, we are never invited to any of her life events.  We are not as connected with her, her family or her friends.  Offers of help are usually turned down.  Invitations to major events are never accepted.  Offer to accompany her to doctors' appointments usually go unfulfilled.  There seems to be no way that you can be a part of her real life.

I accept her friendship and offered mine in return.  My children call her auntie, and will do whatever whenever she asks.  Yet, we do not truly know her.

The lessons learned from this one-sided relationship is that maybe you have to ask more than once; maybe you need to ask why they behave the way they do; maybe, just maybe they are to aware of their behavior and the way they make you feel when they act that way.  Either way, I think you will feel better if you at least raise the subject.  I did, and my friend's answer was, you know how I am, just ask me again and again and again.  I don't want to be a burden to anyone, and I can do most things myself, but I sure love it when someone does something nice for me!

There it is!  We are all different, and respond to our relationships differently.  If you are feeling that you have a one-sided relationship, you owe it to yourself to help bring the other person out and into the relationship -- especially, if you really really care for them.