Vertago

The Leprechaun

 
  I've been living with a Leprechaun for 2 years.
He's very grumpy. Every morning he wakes up cursing
and threatening to kill everyone. His general outlook
is < Anybody pisses me off : they're dead.>
He likes to brag about his short career in the
Marines and what a killer he is. He blew out his knee
in boot camp. Almost everyday he will warn someone
that he was a Marine and he can kick their ass.
But, he has arthritis in his fingers and his
his shoulders. He also complains about severe painful
acne. Okay, he is very loyal and buys me dinner,
but is reluctant to pay for gas.

  This is what I think about at 3am when driving my
Leprechaun to work, "Will he ever shut up?"
"I've worked 6yrs for this shit job and they wont
promote me. Fuckem!" he likes to remark...
And why wont they promote him? Well, he has a lousy
attitude . He likes to call his boss "Shit head!"
That's not a team player.

  I'm reminded of my dad's advice, "If you don't
like it leave." Dad had a ton of gems like that,
"No one cares about you. Just get lost."
These mottos happened around my college graduation
to K-Mart manager. Dad had hoped I be a teacher and
paid for my college education. He was not pleased
that I remained at home, while climbing the K-Mart
ladder. But, then mom got sick and I became a,
"a useful oaf." My sister called me a, "Lazy bum."
So, I'm use to dealing with grumpy people.

  I just watched CRUMB it's so similar to my life,
except, Ronald Crumb is a successful cartoonist.
I buy lottery tickets.. Any who, the Leprechaun got
hit in the back of the head with a brick and the brick
split. He told me he had a metal plate in his head.
I urged him to get an x-ray, but he hates hospitals.
So, he probably has a concussion. His brother threw
the brick. Most murders are family related.
The Leprechaun is a chalk outline waiting to happen.

Oh, well...

<^>