It's not about me

Some Days are Just Ugly

I've been in a funk since yesterday or maybe a better word would be "sadness." I've been in a sadness since yesterday.

Most of the time I am pretty passionate about things I believe in, but I'm always open to listening to someone else's thoughts and ideas. Who knows, they may have a better one! What an ingenious thought right? Wrong. At lease not with some people. There are those who swing to extremes and have no room for ideas or thoughts outside of their own. At least that has been my experience within my circle of people I know.

I was crushed yesterday when a friend of mine made a post about a pretty controversial subject, but the post she used was an opinion blog where some guy made some outlandish, nasty claims and no facts referenced. I couldn't even find anything on the internet to support it. I told her that it appeared he was trying to "stir up the masses" without providing any evidence, and from the things she was saying, it was obviously working for him. I also clarified that it was my opinion and nothing more.

That single statement stirred something up in her that I've never seen before. It took her down a completely different path which is even more controversial and she got upset when I didn't agree with her. Which should be ok not to agree on everything but she really stretched it, accusing me of things I never said, then her kid jumps in and I won't even go there with the kids.

I find it sad that people want you to agree with them and their attitude is one of "I already know the answer, don't confuse me with the facts." So in her case, she made the post to also stir up the masses and really didn't want anyone to disagree with her. I thought I knew this woman. I've always known her to be loving, caring, compassionate and open to other ideas and at least listening to them. She never cut anyone off or put them down for their own beliefs or opinions before. I don't know this new person.

I tried talking about it this morning with my husband. All I got out of my mouth was "there are some people so close minded that they have no room for ideas outside of their own" and he proceeded to tell me about the bad experience he had with someone this week, similar to mine. So I'm not the only one to experience this and I won't be the last one. I never got to finish my story because he continued to talk about his. I could tell he was pretty disturbed about it. So I'm writing about mine, so I can let go of it.

I think about all the anger, bitterness and bigotry there is in the world lately, and if people are so close minded about anything outside of what they think, none of us will ever come together in love and compassion. Someone will always "be right and everyone else, wrong."

That makes me sad. I never thought I would see that in my friend of 12 years. What happened? The worst part is that she was using her religion as justification to be mean, hateful and bigoted. When you use God as justification to be that way, you only show the world what a mean, ugly bigoted god you have and I don't want to be part of your world.

She couldn't grasp the idea of love, compassion, and service as the best way to change people, or to have them listen to your ideas. Most people (myself included) can't stand to listen to ideas of hate.

So I said a little prayer for her last night and let her go. That's sad...the letting go part, but I realize that throughout life, sometimes we grow together as friends and sometimes we have to part ways. My heart still hurts this morning.

A wise friend told me once, that when those moments come when you know you have to part ways, just understand that your journey with them is over. You have learned everything you need from this person and they from you. Be thankful for the time you shared and wish them well on their journey, and move on. He was a very wise friend.