Death and Relations Can be Painful

Living With a Nemesis

Every day I learn something new.  If a day passes and I did not learn something new, I would feel that it was a day wasted or not well spent.  Learning something new can be as simple as learning a new word or as exhausting as learning how to operate a new mechanical tool, but learn I must.

Some people, friends, family, enemies, strangers, politicians, teachers, ministers and a host of other titles learn something new every day about living with chronic diseases.  Many do not talk about it, while others can't keep quiet about them, and there are always those in between.  I haven't often thought about any of them or even me until very recently when I read in a post about a son that required transfusions for an illness, I had never heard of, and had to go learn something about it.  It got me to thinking, and made me look up the question "What is an illness called that will never go away?"  For some of you, that is a simple question and a simple answer, chronic -- continuing a long time or recurring frequently.  For me that was too simple.  I have chronic bronchitis.  Had it for years.  Seasonal allergies. Have them year round.  Diabetes.  I've had that dreaded disease since I was sixty.  So, a disease that is chronic has to be more.

Suggested new definition.  A disease that never ever goes away should be called a nemesis -- a formidable and usually victorious rival or opponent.  Some of the diseases that fall in this category is, of course, bronchitis.  It wears you out.  Beats you down, and almost takes your breath away.  There are other diseases that are called chronic that takes away any quality of life, such as Alzheimer, Multiple sclerosis, Epilepsy, and Chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder, just to name a few.  They are formidable opponents.  They beat you down, and in the end take away all dignity, and quality of life. 

I watched this Alzheimer take a beautiful, energetic, sweet, and adorable woman down to a person I could no longer recognize except for her beautiful and wonderful sharp features.  Nothing about this disease was chronic.  It just kept on beating her, wearing on her, and tasking her until in the end, it was victorious.  When she had nothing more to give, it took her life.

Not only did this nemesis wear on her and task her, but it wore on the family, friends, and financial resources.  It was not satisfied with just her life, it required her memories and many of ours.  In the end, we were willing to let her go because of the suffering, and the loss.  It is hard watching your Mother leave you in so many ways.  Slowly and defiantly at first, and then slowly and tragically as she forgot our names, where she was, who she was, and why she was even here on this earth.  Her nemesis, just would not stop.  It reached out and tried to choke the life out of my youngest child, and later tied my Mother to a chair where she sat for a moment, forgot what she had done, tried to get up and walk, but fell and broke all of the ribs in her chest.  She did not understand the pain.  She did not know what had happened.  She just did not know any more.

How do you fight something like this?  What do you do?  How do you get grandchildren who adore, love and worship their grandmother to understand that grandmother has gone, and the shell left behind is only a memory?  Her nemesis was having no part of that.  It wanted to strip her of mind, soul and body, and it did!  Thank God, her struggle was short.  Her nemesis attacked her with a vengeance, and took her out within a few years.  She never knew what hit her, but we all did, and it was not a pretty sight.  It was not chronic -- continuing a long time or recurring frequently.  It was a nemesis --  a formidable and usually victorious rival or opponent.

For those who are living with their nemesis or with someone who is living with their nemesis, remember, you are not alone even when you feel that you are.  Thousands of people that you don't know are walking that road with you.  If you are a person of faith, it is even better.  For if you are a believer, God will not only walk with you, he will carry you, and them, and when the time comes, He will take them away on the wings of a dove.  Death may be the end results of yours or their nemesis, but then isn't it (death) the end result of all of us with or without a nemesis?

A very wise young daughter of mine once said, "Mother, people always say that you got to die from something.  Well, I say, you will be surprised at what you may have to live with, so be careful how you live." 

Cherish the quality of life you have been given because we never know until we get there, the nemesis we may have to live with before we pass over or transition out of this life.