Who do I still think I am??

This one's about Good Times.

30DBC PROMPT: "We're open to the greatest change when we hit our lowest point."

Hey you! Welcome back to the happiest most comfortable place this side of the internet! Hard to believe it's been three weeks since I last showed up here, but let's not get bogged down with details and minutiae, dig? Circumstances happen, but all is now right in the world for the time being and you're here and I'm here, so let's just do this.

I don't know that there's a truer statement than the one our man 30DBC Creator/Founder has proposed for today's installment of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . When you're on your last legs and grasping for anything to keep you going, you not only find out what you're made of, but you're also more willing to try something- anything- to keep you going. Sure, there's principles and stuff like that that you swear you'll stick by through hell and high water...until you're actually dealing with both; anyone with even a shred of common sense would understand that desperate times should open up your thinking and take you to places you might not normally turn to.

Like a lot of you, I've had my share of ups and downs...if you have a soul they're virtually unavoidable. I could go on a rant about how unfair life is, but that'd be doing a disservice to all the times I've had the shine of good fortune fall upon me.

A year and a half ago I was faced with some tough choices. I lost my job and my girlfriend of three and a half years, was having full-blown anxiety and panic attacks, and had absolutely no idea what to do about them. The future was, for lack of a better term, uncertain. Ever found yourself homeless? Spent a night sleeping in a park or a laundromat? Been there. It's not fun...especially when you wake up and find that you've been robbed of what little possessions you managed to keep. Long story short: I had an opportunity to move across the state I've called home my entire life, so I took it. Even though I've traveled all over the country on vacations, I was a WNYer through and through...it was always home, and as far as I'm concerned it always will be, even when the area didn't seem to want me anymore.

So I ended up in Cortland, just south of Syracuse and about four hours from Buffalo. I could reboot life and establish a new foundation of being. I knew all of one person here, so I wouldn't be lulled into the complacency of knowing people everywhere I went. It was "starting over", like a character in a sitcom getting spun off into a new show. But this ain't Hollywood, and you don't just stop being an asshole once your zip code changes.

I'm not perfect; never claimed to be. I still have indulgences both physically and mentally. I've been challenged, sometimes by myself and in spite of myself. Every day is another in the chapter of a book I've finally started trying to understand. I'm not out of the woods yet, but finally learning how to treat depression, anxiety and insomnia through means other than self-medicating has been a solid step in the right direction. I won't say I'm quite satisfied yet, and I often wonder if I'll ever be...some days are still a struggle to wake up and take pills to function only to pass time before I get to go to sleep again, and the side effects aren't aesthetically pleasing, but I suppose that's the trade-off for exhibiting less self-destructive behavior.

And I haven't yet felt like I'm acclimated to the area...Cortland's a tiny little college town and I've been told on more than one occasion I'll have to get used to country music (which I will steadfastly refuse to do at all costs, for a bounty of reasons...I may always make questionable choices regardless of my tastes and preferences, but I don't see why I should endure something I associate with horrible memories), and I'm more familiar with metropolitan settings and bigger and better and faster and more. Of course, destroying my leg and having to deal with that wasn't part of the plan and it hasn't helped in the grand scheme of integrating with my new community, while presenting its own set of challenges. But you never know quite what you're capable of until you're faced with adversity.

That's the point...sometimes you need to be shaken out of your comfort zone and accept a different reality than what you dreamed of. Everything becomes knowledge and experience, whether you like it or not. Gotta use your resources and make the best of things, even when it sucks. All of this has led me to wonder...at what point will the circumstances in my life become so freaking awful that I'll willingly choose to enjoy country music as if my very existence would become dependent on it?

BCF PROMPT: "Write a story or poem beginning with 'At the old swimming hole...'"

Do I have to? Of course not. I don't have fond recollections of "swimming holes", mainly because publicly-funded community pools were a lot more common where I grew up than the random pond in the middle of hickville. Sure, I could drop a few lines about swimming at Boy Scout summer camp, but looking back, I didn't enjoy that much because the lakes or whatever those bodies of water were known as were absolutely disgusting and I'd prefer not to be reminded of them again. Not because I have any specific memory attached to them, but because they were filthy and probably contaminated with years of hatred and misspent youth and the tears of sadness and grief shed by mermaids who've recently come to understand that they will never be loved for anything more than their bodies and not their personalities.

I'm not even crazy about swimming in someone's own personal, private, disease-free pool. Don't get me wrong; I love summer and being outdoors and having fun, but having to achieve that by going swimming just seems like a hassle that I'm not into. Good on ya if you're one of those status-seekers who has to have the pool everyone wants to crash as soon as the mercury hits 85, and I'll hang out there, but please don't treat the whole thing like it's something I should be grateful for with an undying affection...that's not very comely.

Seriously. I'd rather bathe in a lather of my own sweat for five hours and then take a shower than worry about how many times your bratty kid peed in the pool. Now I'm wondering what I loathe more...swimming or country music?

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Since I've allowed my mood to devolve, I believe this to be a fitting interruption.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

So what have I been doing with my life the last three weeks I've been almost non-existent on WDC? I've been busy filling my addiction to tv shows from the past...my recent viewing has been Good Times  , which I vaguely remember watching syndicated reruns of as a kid. Amazing what you can find on YouTube these days.

I've also been doing the whole physical therapy thing again with my stupid leg, and trust me when I say don't ever break a bone in your body. Twice a week and a daily regimen of exercises isn't the ideal way to go through life.

I need to hop back on my horse and get to judging the first full week of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ...I've started and read some of the entries, but I'm procrastinating and that's not right.

Another reason I need to get movin' on the whole 30DBC judgin' thing is that Wednesday I'll be heading back to WNY for a few days to visit with my mom and brother...they're having a yard sale that I'll be helping out with. It's my understanding that some of the items for sale will have belonged to my late uncle, so I'm hoping for the best.

Finally, I recently heard that a long-time friend of this space (and several strands of DNA-removed personal twin), Julie D - PUBLISHED! , has been thinking about firing up her old blog. I hope that she does...she's a fantastic writer and an even nicer person. It's no secret (or maybe it shouldn't have been, at least) that I've been looking forward to her returning for quite awhile...she's certainly been missed and if you haven't read her before I know you guys will enjoy what she brings to the table.

Well, that's all I've got for tonight. It's been too long and I've missed you people, but I'm pretty spent and I'm taking the rest of the night off. Peace, I should take care, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!