My Journal #2

Escapism-Books

Prompt: Do you have a secret place now you go to avoid real life?

Why does it seem as if every prompt is digging into my ugly past?  I never had a fort or place I ran to get away from life. I escaped into books. I was a voracious reader. I didn't want to deal with life, I didn't have a lot of friends so I read.  I can't tell you all the books I've read in my younger years.

I signed in to goodreads and started to list the books I can remember reading. There were just too many but when I remember one I add it. The list would be twice as long If I listed every book.

I read even if it got me in trouble.  As soon as dinner was over I'd grab a book and head to the bathroom. As soon as I heard the belt buckle jingle (since my sister and I were supposed to do the dishes) I'd run to the kitchen. Sometimes I'd make it sometimes not. 

All through my life books were my escape. I could ignore everything around me, house cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, anything I didn't want to do, I read instead. 

In the last three years, my reading has slowly died to almost non existent. I have no idea why books no longer hold my interest. I have a stack of them to read and I can't stay interested long enough to read them. I joined a book club thinking it might help. I've read a couple of the books and the rest I couldn't get through, mostly weren't interesting to me.  I'd rather write or watch TV.

It could be I can't turn off the editor. All this time I've read for plot. The story would just take me away.  Now I find it takes me forever to get through the first chapter because words like was, that, gone, went and filler words pop up at me as I'm reading and I think, "They should have found a better word here. What editor let this through to be published?  Now I'm not the perfect writer. When the muse flows I write it down as fast as I can. I go back and read it over and over and still think, "Why didn't I see that before? It was right there."

I'm trying to get past that, or could it be there are so many self-published authors who have no idea what editing means and just have their friends proof read it. Proof-reading and editing are two entirely different people. Each has what they do and most don't do both.  Edit, then proof-read.

I'm reading a book on my e-reader and its written in First person. Its as if the character is sitting at a campfire telling you this story as their mind remembers it.  Its jerky and I keep mentally screaming at the book, "The obvious question anyone would have asked by now is: "What year is this?" Yet this young man never asks. He sees they seem to be dressed and acting like the past, but he never asks the question. So far, I can't say it holds my interest. I can put it down for days then pick it up and go on.  I know the woman he's just met is his grandmother when she was younger. Eventually he'll realize the man is his grandfather. The MC is a little dense and the time line isn't quite right. But its okay. 
Maybe I just haven't found a book that drags me into it like I used to. Is the quality lacking or am I just going through a phase?   



Tina Weaver

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