Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

And That is The Reason I Hate Whipped Cream

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking sexually. Let's face it after a few drinks and in the heat of passion any food product sounds fun. Except maybe asparagus. And peas - that would definitely get me out of the mood.

Anyway, I do hate whipped cream. For one it is empty calories I extremely DON'T need, and beyond that I just don't care for the taste or texture. But that's not really the whole enchilada. Let me explain . . .

If I go for one of those fancy coffee or a chocolate shake (because those calories don't count), I always say, "No whipped cream, please." I make sure they say it back to me. It is clear no whipped cream. Seven out of ten times they deliver it with whipped cream. I'm not so uptight that I will send it back; I just scoop it off. Last week this happened at Sonic. Conveniently, my car is never completely cleaned out so I had another cup to put the unappetizing whipped cream in. Happily, I go about my errands.

Today, at least a week later, I'm looking in my car for something and I see the 'whip cream' holder. In my mind I'm thinking oh my gosh this is going to be gross. It's summer; in Oklahoma. We aren't exactly still wearing parkas (whatever that is). It looks exactly the same as when I scooped it off days and days ago. What is this stuff? They say swallowed gum stays in your system for 7 years, well this stuff is at the very least a close second. I'm telling you same form, shape, color, everything!

I was telling my son (also not a lover of the whip cream) about this. He starts laughing and laughing. And laughing. I mean I know gross is funny to guys, but this funny? Finally, he tells me of a similar experience.

He is a scoop off the whip cream person too. Well, apparently he had scooped some off and put in a bowl in his bedroom. This is just frightening in itself, because when dishes enter that room they never come out. I can't even begin to guess how long this scoop had been there.

One day, he decides to do a little (emphasis on little) cleaning. Come across the ancient scoop of whip cream, he decides it is best disposed of by flushing it down the toilet.

He said, "Mom, I tried to flush that thing 3 times! Each time it just came back up in the same form. I finally had to kill it to pieces with the plunger to get it to go down."

Therefore, since 2 scientific experiments have been done with equal, yet disturbing, results, I believe I am scientifically supported of my hatred for whip cream.

I'm telling you the only thing that might get that out of your system is coconut oil. And then you better not have plans to leave the house for a few days.

I can't believe some of you spray that directly into your mouth. (wow, if that was quoted out of text, people might get the wrong idea - or maybe not :).)

Not so sweet,
Ralls