Off the Cuff / My Other Journal

For Grins

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein

Quite often, I say something that comes out from obtuse side of my brain, something inane, shortsighted, or pointless. I still blush when I recall what I told our bank manager several years ago. “We don’t have any debt. We just have mortgage, and I have to pay the Mastercard.” Lucky for me, I am not the only dopey one in the world.

This one by Imelda Marcos, the once-first-lady of Phillippines, the lady with the humongous shoe collection, is hilarious. I think she said this when being criticized for her haphazard spending: "I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there. It's so petty."

Then, what about this British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea? “"Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets."

And another one from a British politician’s campaign: “"Labour MPs and councillors representing Wansbeck for decades have only achieved one of the highest teenage pregnancies records."

But the British cannot match our politicians in gobbledygook. "The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." President D. Eisenhower

Or another president, George W. Bush, who said in 2000, "They misunderestimated me." And three years later on May 7, 2003, “I think war is a dangerous place.”

Not to forget Dan Quayle, former US Vice President. “If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
And also: “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.”

Even so, no politician can match a lawyer, but then aren’t most of the politicians have a law degree? Oh well, the following are from court documents.

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Then there is this one:
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

And another one:
Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
Witness: "She is my daughter."
Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

And I am not even touching the movie stars. After all, that limelight acts like pepper spray on the eyes and the applause like nitrous oxide on the brain.

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Prompt: It was a stupid thing to say... .