Tarot Journey

Tarot Shaman Challenge

When browsing online in one of my favourite spaces, www.tarotprofessionals.com, I came across a five day "Shaman's Challenge" where one can connect with their animal spirit guides in a five day process. The exercise seemed interesting and active, just what I was looking for. I was in.

Tarot is a uniquely fascinating study. Within the 78 card deck are pictures and symbols which can be used to unlock the past, recognize the present, and discern the future. I could describe myself as a student of psychology; when I came to Tarot, it was with a cautious interest. What I found was that the symbolism which lied within the cards made sense when considering Jung's theory of the collective unconscious. Joseph Campbell wrote about the "Hero's Journey", which is essentially the journey we all go through in our life. I found the Tarot to be a pictorial representation of this journey. Tarot was deceivingly simple and deceptively complicated. I have found that Tarot is a lifetime study, and simultaneously the perfect study aid for a variety of subjects.

On this particular day, I lay in bed contemplating the three cards picked for tomorrow's Shaman journey. The challenge was to face my fears. The first card picked, representing those fears, was the four of hearts. The picture shows a boy, with a crown a this feet, on his knees, reaching toward a girl who leans away from him. Initially, I recognized the pursuit of young love, which is often elusive. After considering the symbolism of the Rider-Waite set, which I was not using but am very familiar with, I recognized that the card may somehow be related to my focus on a single objective, to being self-absorbed, to not seeing what is in front of me. I could not understand how that would relate to fear, but I decided to move on.

The second card was intended to represent "what I should do about it". The six of wands was reversed, and the picture of the fairies in war attire sitting on their scarabs (horses) with lances drawn, looked like they were about to fall - the ground was no longer underfoot. The answer in this card seemed clear - stop fighting.

The third card, the eight of wands, signified travel, progress...moving on. The card was intended to represent the reward - what will happen if the fear is faced. It was an interesting draw.

While I was still unsure what I was afraid of in this context, I knew it had to do with my internal struggle and self absorption. I decided to make "stop fighting" the mantra for the next day. I worked to remain pleasant, passive, and open throughout the day. When I felt myself start to get frustrated with my husband and the things he did not do, I took a deep breath, allowed the thought to pass, and reminded myself not to fight the situation. When in session with a client and noticing resistance, I worked to roll with it rather than confront it. At every moment, I worked to remain receptive to opportunities not to fight, and by mid-morning, I had the answer to the cards.

I have been struggling with burnout and exploring alternative employment opportunities, waiting for a 3 to 4 day per week job to come up. The job has not come, and while there have been other full time opportunities, I have been hesitant to explore them because I truly love my work and can't help but think that if I can just find the"magic key" - better organization, a streamlined schedule, more administrative support, SOMETHING... then I could remain where I am. I had it set in my mind that I would stick it out no matter what, until the elusive part time job came around.

But there is no part time job, and right this moment there is an alternative full time job that would be much easier in terms of workload and my professional skill set. "Stop Fighting". The mantra whirled around in my head while I considered the possibility. Stop fighting to learn all the new skills I need in this job. Stop fighting to conquer a job that is so incredibly taxing. Stop fighting to excel in a position where the workload is double what it should be. Accept what is there - a position that perfectly fits my skill set, with a diversity of practice that I enjoy, and that is reasonable in terms of workload. Yes, it is full time. Yet, sometimes, you have to move out of the world of your own ideals to see the crown that is at your feet.

Reflecting on these cards again, the answer to the first card seems clearer. What am I afraid of? Inadequacy. Failure. I believe in working hard for what you want, and there is a sense of failure when things do not turn out the way you expect them to. I needed to stop fighting, stop working so hard, and accept the gifts which life offers but too often are disregarded.

So, dear readers, please feel free to share...what is your experience with Tarot? And have you ever found yourself in a similar position, where you had to stop fighting...to move on?