Wondering about my Wanderings

I wuv you

My sister wept. It seems like a minor thing. I talked with my sister Lori, a nurse by vocation and she could hold back her tears no longer. I held the phone, I could hear uncontrollable weeping in the background. I was sharing my thoughts about seeing mom for the first time, since I saw her as the picture of health. Lori shared how painful it was to watch her dwindle away to almost nothing. The implication was that I would probably see mom for the last time. How would I be affected. I had no idea. There is always the choice to stay home, lest I risk the tears that flow in my heart. As I said to my sister I do not want to leave with any regrets. I want mom to have the best of who I am and what life has to offer. My mom was at a family outing when I called later. I was told she could not talk. I was supposed to lead the conversation. I was having trouble with my own voice due to allergy issues. She said the only thing that mattered even if she could say little or nothing. "I wuv you son" She said it more than once. It was all that mattered. That was all she wanted me to hear her say. She continues to lose weight, can not eat, is refusing to have a feeding tube, has trouble breathing and lately is having trouble getting around is weak, and is isolating more and more. It hurts to see mom in such condition. She was always the life of the party.

God give me strength to share Mom's message.
I wuv you!!