Connie's Corner

Musing...

I just got back home from my walk. Even though the temp is in the 70's, the humidity makes it seem more like 90. Blue jays were screeching and crows were laughing, water was dripping from the overhanging limbs of trees and the storm drains were gurgling from the late night storms. I still huff and puff a little while going uphill, but I purse my lips and blow out all the air I can to make room for new and fresh, hopefully oxygenated. The air in Florida (to me) always smells like hundreds of others have already breathed the good part out of it...not like that sweet smelling air in Delaware of maturing wheat and corn and soy beans.

I am reading a book by Joyce Carol Oates (just started, at about page 50) titled A Widow's Story. I have been mulling something interesting she says, that there are two kinds of personalities, those who can relax and enjoy each minute of life and those who think they need to be creating something to be worthy of life. Can't we be a little of each? Her husband, she says, was the first kind and she is the second. And then she goes on to talk about how worried he is while in the hospital that he cannot keep up with his work and insists she bring it in to him there. I think we all are a little bit of each. At least I hope so.

I had some sort of upsetting news at the eye doctor on Friday. I have both kinds of glaucoma. I am already taking drops for open-angle...knew about that...but she says my tear ducts (wrote ducks first, haha) are very narrowed and I will need laser surgery to make a new opening in both eyes, first eye scheduled for 9/15. Not too happy about that. I asked if I would be able to drive home and she said "yes"...and then she said something that surprised me. "You don't look like the kind of person who would need someone to hold your hand." Really? I must look stronger than I feel.

While I am writing this, I am thinking how much easier it is for me to communicate through writing than it is through speaking. I have a very difficult time expressing myself verbally and I think it has always been like that. I can remember loving to write letters while growing up, but not really sharing with girlfriends as others did. Some people think that is being secretive but I am just not a chatty person. And even in writing I am not overly verbose. I say get to the point, get it out, and be done with it....

until next time...c