Everyday Canvas

Talking to Strangers

Prompt: Let's talk~ How do you start conversations with strangers? What topics do you avoid? Is it easier with one gender or another?


Usually strangers start talking to me. I must have that face. My older son, when he was six, one day asked his father, “How come Mom is friends with everyone? She’s talking to people everywhere.” His question made hubby watch me. He said people talk to me even when I am not looking at them or even when I am not aware of them, be it in the stores, by the beach, in a gathering etc.

To tell the truth, I am not an expert on the subject and don’t know exactly how to start a conversation with a stranger on my own. I guess I just do it when I meed to. I might look for non-verbal clues from them first, then make a comment.

What I would do at a party where I don’t know anyone would be to check for someone standing alone. When I find someone like that, I just go and talk to him/her. To start the conversation, I make a comment about something about the party. Depending on the reaction, I introduce myself next. I am a casual person and I like people in general. I think that helps.

One thing I won’t do is break up a lively conversation among a close-knit group at a party or the explanation of a procedure or something like it by a store employee to another customer. In such a case, if I am interested in their topic, I may stand by and listen, until one of them notices and talks to me, but this almost never happened.

Sometimes, when I want to get the attention of a clerk or somebody who knows something about what I am searching, I approach them and ask with a smile, “Can you help me? I am looking for…”

I think what stops people from talking to strangers is fear. Fear always blocks opportunity, and fearlessness rarely gets a person in trouble. Of course, not when fearlessness becomes recklessness. For example, if I am in the bank and there’s a holdup. I am not going to try to start a friendly conversation with the masked man holding a gun.

If nobody talked to me first, I guess I would talk to people on my own. Gender doesn’t matter at my age and neither did it in my earlier ages. What is easier has nothing to do with gender, but how the other person seems to be.

As to topics, I would try to keep the conversation as general as possible and avoid topics that are too personal. I would also avoid asking questions too much. If the other person is a staunch believer in any one thing, say religion or politics, and gets all red-faced and angry with any differing opinions, it is time to leave him or her alone.

A conversation is a mutual affair. If the other person is not interested, it is better to leave and search for someone else.