Everyday Canvas

Our Inner Stories

Do you have a chronic aversion to being wrong, and do you judge others harshly, sometimes? Or do you always feel guilty and apologize for every small step you take? Or do you feel you are somewhat below par and can never measure up? If you do any of those things, your inner stories are the ones to blame.

We, as human beings, are conditioned to use stories, stories either we tell ourselves or what others usually inject into our brains, sometimes without us being aware of them. There is nothing wrong with that. It is the human condition. The trick is to be attentive to our inner stories, stories about the way we see the world and ourselves and especially where they are coming from.

Ever since people have been on earth, we listened to our elders’ stories, experiences, and parables and have evolved in the same fashion to share our own stories and experiences with the younger generations. This, somehow, gained the tendency to become the criteria to base our later experiences on, which ended up deciding whether we are an optimist or a pessimist and if can draw positive or negative meanings from people and events.

Because of this predisposition, of which we are usually unaware, the need to be careful is essential in our adult lives, as to which stories we expose ourselves and choose to believe in, for they have a way of immersing themselves into our neural pathways--in short, our brains--to pop up unexpectedly at the most unwelcome instances.

True, the human brain has a tendency to choose the positive outlook, usually, but we are also vulnerable and especially uncertain in what to believe about ourselves.

If you have ever glanced at the mirror and berated your looks inwardly, for example, you may still be believing a negative comment that someone in your young years threw at you about your face, your height, or any part of you.

Another thing is, most of us are afraid of being mistaken, and more often than not, we either glorify our mistakes or hide or not admit to acting or thinking in a wrong way. To avoid falling into these traps, we need to examine the repetitions in the interiors of the stories we keep inside us, rather than what those stories seem to be on the surface.

Most prejudices, in-group biases, fights, battles, wars, likes, and dislikes can be based on the stories put inside our heads by others or ourselves, which we neglected to examine and send through our sieve of better judgment. Yet, instead of choosing objectivity, we opt to believe and sustain the inhibitory inputs sown inside us.

For example, not all plants live long lives. Some seeds germinate into flowers, and others die and become compost. It is therefore, important for our well-being to choose the healthier seeds. Yet, by chance, if a seed or sapling dies, this means its story was false or not meant to be. What is left for us is to forget that dead seed and let it go, and then turn the attention to cultivate our beautiful flowers.