Blogs on a Life Time of What If's?

Mistakes and Opportunities

Sometimes its easier to toss our dreams for no better reason than obstinacy.

My father at fifteen fought his parents wishes to go to sea, and by twenty five, he had passed his Master Mariner exams qualifying him to the rank of Captain. He spoke of the North Sea and the Atlantic Ocean with passion, his memories of countries seen vivid in the telling. The man I knew was a shadow who wafted in and out hidden behind a newspaper or in front of a TV screen, an intelligent man, witty, charming, very debonair when the occasion suited, he came equipped with an on/off switch. It wasn't until I read his biography after his passing that I learnt about the man hidden behind the shadow.

He died as he had lived, alone, separated from the world around him by disillusionment, a man with big dreams which never saw the light of day. For years we would hear him blame that person, or this company, or stupid people whose stupid decisions caused him to miss opportunities. As far as Dad was concerned life was about being Captain of the ship, guiding the vessel into safe harbour from the bridge, issuing commands not to be questioned by those who were there to obey.

Despite being surrounded by family and friends, he was the loneliest person I knew. He was a good man at heart, wanting to be loved and to love but he never understood the meaning. He had been a lonely child, viciously beaten by his father, ignored by his mother, cared for by Aunts and Uncles, a child who lived in a dream world of ships and travel. I also discovered he was a man of great courage and determination, a man I could admire.

Dad told the story of how he had flung his cap into the sea signifying the end of his dreams and I suspect, with his cap went his courage. We can all take the easy road and live in the pit of if only’s and blame game, only to end our days with regrets.

With every mistake comes an opportunity to learn and from that learning comes the occasion to never make that mistake again. Slip ups create a building block in the foundations of the person we know ourselves to be shaping our self esteem. Too many of us beat ourselves up, looking to blame or excuse easing our self inflicted burden when in reality mistakes are merely ill formed decisions guiding us on our path into the present and future.

It takes courage to look forward gathering strength from the past moving into the present and future with a passion born of belief in ourselves.