Jessica's Book of Gratitude 2015

Thankful Thursday 1/22/2015

Sunday marks the two year anniversary since Nan died (1/25/2013) and it's hard to believe it has been two years already. I don't miss her any less than I did on 1/26/2013. Although she is gone, the article I read last night I Took My Dying Dog on a Bucket List Adventure   provided some good insights of losing a beloved friend and family member. Although it was a dog in this article; a dog or cat is no different than losing a human that we loved dearly. They say time heals all wounds and yes, I think that's true to an extent; I believe we still do miss those loved ones, but good memories lessen the pain of their loss. I guess it's that merry-go-sorry feeling - you miss them, but you become happy remembering the good times. The sadness is mixed with joy. It doesn't make the missing less, but there's comfort in knowing the loved one lived a good life. I like how Lauren Fern Watt put it in her story: " I knew she would live on through my experiences, and that I gave her the best life I could. And that to me was infinitely healing."

Yesterday we had snow, which is common in King of Prussia in January. Although the snow wasn't sticking to the ground a 11AM, the library had word that all schools would be closing early to avoid accidents in a terrible snow storm later on. My co-workers and I were a bit surprised they made the judgement before snow accumulated, but we were glad they made it since it could get messy quick. It reminded me of one time when I was in 4th grade. It was September 1999 and we were getting storms from Hurricane Floyd. It was closer to the end of September on a Friday and I went to elementary school like any other normal day. The skies were black, but the rain wasn't falling hard when I walked to school. Two hours later, the rain was pounding on the window panes and the lights in Ms. Johnson's classroom were flickering on and off. We were in a state of emergency and dismissed at noon. Nan lived 2 minutes away from Caley; she picked me up and I went back to her house. When I was a child, I would always love playing in the rain (I still do). However, when I was a little girl I would always put on my bathing suit and run around in the rain. I never had a swimming pool, so I always saw this time as my pool time. This day wasn't any different - state of emergency I'll be damned, I put on my swim suit and ran around in Nan's backyard for two hours. I didn't care if it was a hurricane, I played in it anyway. I was 10 in 1999.

After I tired myself out, Nan was waiting on her red porch with towel in hand. I walked up the red stairs leading to the enclosed porch and she draped the towel over me. I dried off and I went back inside to take a hot shower. Nan warmed up some tea for me and we watched TV. This is just one memory of the times I had with Nan; they're pretty much like that. I laugh just thinking about this one instance. I'm thankful for these memories and I'm going to continue working on the poetry book I started two years ago about her. Except I'm going to expand it to short essays as well. :)