Writings from 11/02 to 3/05. |
Cuddlebitch 5-24-04 The puzzle of your pain. The ethereal silence of your heart speaking volumes of what you share and distrust the most. You can dish it out but only when it comes back to you do you realize that it hurts. It's a sea change from the beginning when we don't plan to fall apart. I'm watching you, studying you. It's what I do. I'm watching you failing me. You have a hidden meaning about you. Something you don't want anyone to see. I was once someone but now I'm everyone else. Dig deeper only to find it was insignificant at best and a shame at worst. There is no middle anymore. There is only us and the nights behind that never called to mention we weren't meant to be. We were images. Now just smoke and mirrors, masking our avoidances and painting our days with each other's loss, hoping it would be our own. You can't hold the surface without unleashing the insides. "It may not get any better than this" you thought, and maybe you were right. Oh, you were. You're an uneasy feeling in the bottom of my chest. An attack of the heart. Your blood runs through, slowly, straining to fill me but I won't let you. I want to be as dead inside as you. You won't see me as anything but and I won't see you again. |