Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about family, women, and character.

"Is there someone in your life, or family, who is the source of comic relief? Is there a funny story to share? What or who would you write about if you wanted to get a 'for sure' laugh?"

'Sup y'all? We're on Day 3 of our Comedy week in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 's month of mini-challenges, and we're off to a pretty good start...or at least I think we are.

It's hard to say who the funniest person in my family could be. There aren't a whole lot of people left on my mom's side, and I don't even remember who I know anymore on my dad's side...is this one of those instances where it's ok to vote for yourself? Because outside of a couple of cousins on stepmom's side, there's a legit possibility out of everyone I could name you would probably choose me. And I'm not just sayin' that 'cuz I know the guy who writes this nonsense.

The trouble with picking someone is that "funny" is kind of a generic, catch-all statement that could mean different things to different people. My mom's got a pretty good sense of humor. My brother is always posting funny shit on Facebook. And I always had a good time with my half-brother, goofin' off and havin' a lot of fun (occasionally at the expense of others...shhhh). Me? I'm like the littlest best parts of all of that...no better and no worse (I don't want you guys thinkin' I'm sittin' over here all full of myself).

I'm the one who is probably the least serious, to a fault. At times when everyone's quiet/sad/respectful, I'm plotting a way to run my underwear up a flagpole. When everyone's working hard and doing a good job, there's me, schemin' a silly prank. I break monotony. I've learned to accept this about myself.

But that's not to say everyone I know has a giant stick up their asses; far from it. They're small sticks actually, made in such a way to minimize discomfort. I think we've acquired them at birth, right after we've been spanked hard enough by the doctor to get a response. See...that's another thing you didn't know about Obamacare.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I've been fortunate most of my life to be around people who could laugh, joke around, know when they were in on the joke, and know when they were the butt of the joke. And as much as I might complain about life once in awhile, that's one thing I couldn't imagine having any other way.

"Well behaved women seldom make history. Do you agree?"

Hell yeah I agree! I do so on the basis of one simple idiom: The squeaky wheel always gets the grease.

Sure, your history book is littered with all sorts of do-gooders who wore proper dresses and knotted their hair in buns so tight they could snare a hummingbird...but there are also lots of badass chicks we have plenty to be thankful for as well.

(Here's where I turn to the internet to do the work for me, because I'm terrible at remembering this stuff.)

I started Googling "badass", and the second autofilled selection was "women in history"...which is amazing because I don't believe I ever once Googled "badass" anything before. And the first site that came up was 55 Badass Women Who Changed History Forever  . The cool thing about this list is that for every famous person you might recognize, there are one or two that you've probably never heard of (or are listed anonymously), and they're doing something we most likely take for granted now.

But anyway, regarding the actual prompt, yeah, the "safe" choices- the ones who look good for the cameras- are often pegged as the face of whatever movement they're in front of...but real history is made by the women who speak up, take chances, and get demand results. Who would you rather see your little daughter eye as a role model, Betty Crocker or Rosa Parks? If you even have to think about it... .

"Confess or zip those lips...which is more out of character for you?"

My general disdain for society and my overall lack of trust in humanity pretty much means my lips are zipped for the most part...and when they're not, you can bet your last dollar they're not confessin' much, fo' sho'.

I'll speak out against something if necessary. I'll make my opinion be known when asked. But I'm of the belief that a person is wiser when they listen...I think the old adage goes something like "Be quiet and let everyone think you're an asshole, or say something and prove them right." I may have taken a few liberties with that quote, but if I spend that much more time on Google tonight I'll never finish this entry.

There's plenty to be said about a good amount of solid quiet.

"My eyes...never forget, you see."
Lyrics.  

Pour a little out for the dead homie Vincent Musetto, who recently passed away. If you don't know who he is, he wrote what is possibly the greatest headline in newspaper history: "Headless Body in Topless Bar"  .

It's the ultimate event of the hockey season, and the sporting world's greatest trophy is up for grabs...Lord Stanley's Cup. However, it seems that NBC, the channel that televises one game a week on its flagship station and a handful of other games on cable during the regular season, is against one of the best traditions in all of mankind's athletic competitions: they want players to not grow playoff beards  , because they claim it's harder to market the stars of the game when they're not clean-shaven. I'm calling bullshit. You know what helps to grow the game, NBC? Show more than one game a week. Show teams besides the Penguins, Rangers, Red Wings, and Kings. Get rid of that douchebag Mike Milbury, who doesn't deserve to be an analyst for the street hockey games on Kokomo St., let alone NBC. The playoff beard is a thing of beauty...a badge of honor. It says "I've earned the right to play on the game's biggest stage, in June." Don't mess with that...not when there are about thirty other ways to "market the players". And I'm not just sayin' that because I have a beard and enjoy hockey. Respect the game, and all that comes with it...stupid suits in boardrooms who don't know dick about the sport.

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time longer than the last few days, you'll know that I prefer not to bring math into, uhhhh, pardon the expression, the equation. It's not that I have anything against math; I just don't do it out of respect for those who aren't a fan of it. However, this is something I think everyone, including the numerically-challenged, can enjoy: pictures that prove the guys in math problems really exist  .

And finally, remember yesterday when I shared a link about punctuation marks that should be invented to keep up with our ever-evolving language and the way we speak it? Well, there are actually 13 real punctuation marks you won't find on a standard (or advanced) keyboard  . My favorite, for slightly obvious reasons, is the "interrobang" (and not just 'cuz it'd be a cool name for a band)...although I'd probably get a lot of mileage out of the "snark mark".

Alright you people...I've had just about enough of you for one day. Try and keep the noise down, and last one out please kill the lights. Peace, we need a little hope, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!