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My fourth blog. Amazing yet disconcerting. Don't worry; this'll go away in a year or so. |
![]() What's up you guys? It's week three of the mini-challenges in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ![]() ![]() When I joined WDC almost 14 years ago, blogging as we know it today wasn't even a twinkle in your keyboard's eyes. I was just looking for an online home to post some of my poetry and maybe get some feedback...today I can further accomplish that by combining the two genres and perhaps gain some cross-acceptance; if you like my blog, maybe you'll be interested in what else I write, and vice/versa. But I'll admit that I don't use one form within the other nearly as much as I should. Today's topic is prose poetry, which sounds easy but can be slightly more complicated if you're not careful. Personally, my favorite form of writing is more of a free-verse, which lacks a format and is something I used to often mistake as prose because I didn't know any better. I'm not married to meter and rhyme schemes, because I pretty much don't have the patience for counting when I write or revising afterwards. My brain often works too fast for my fingers, and I don't like interrupting the flow of my thoughts by having to substitute words of lesser meaning or value just to fit them in a particular pattern. Maybe that turns some purists off, but it suits me just fine...it's modern, a bit edgier, and if it attracts someone else who might not normally be into poetry because all they're familiar with are the stuffy 19th century works they studied in high school, we should all consider that a win for what we do. That being said, I'd love to someday be able to give myself the wherewithal to bang out a stellar prose poetry blog entry that doesn't seem contrived or sound hokey. On top of being impatient, I'm also self-conscious when I write most of the time...if it sounds too cheesy or loses focus from where I started, I'm more likely to scrap the whole thing rather than push through and see what happens. If I'm wasting too much time coming up with the perfect fit, I find I'm liable to lose the train of thought I had going forward...and therefore the whole piece suffers. I have tried to write a few prose poetry pieces, with minimal success. I think one of the few items worth considering in my port regarding this might be "It's Not It" ![]() ![]() ![]() If I had my way, I wouldn't talk about weather at all. It just happens, and gloating or bitching about it isn't gonna change it (although I do believe that a lot of the severe weather trends we're seeing more of in this day and age are partially a result of man-related negligence past and present, but save your political theory squawking for another time because none of us, I assume, are real scientists and that's not what this response is intended to promote). If you're at all familiar with my particular brand of interned-based complaining in journal form, however, you'll note from time to time I'll voice my absolute disdain for snow and cold weather in general. Everything that comes with the territory living on the east coast between the Great Lakes and the Atlantic Ocean, during the months of October through April. Wind, sleet, hail, snow, single-digit temperatures and way-below-zero wind chills. It's not just because I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (conveniently known as SAD), but because all of that mess in concert is plenty enough to wreck a man's entire constitution. Case in point: last November, my hometown got hit with a vicious storm that dropped 90" inches of snow in some parts over two days (the area was such a mess that Buzzfeed called it "terrifying" ![]() Otherwise, weather doesn't frighten me...but nothing does, if I'm being honest and vulnerable. Probably because I'm awkwardly emotionally dead, and/or too stupid to take the threat of extreme weather seriously. Like, twice in the past week Cortland County (where I live now) has had tornado warnings. I understand that weather services have certain guidelines that require them to issue these threats to be more on the safe side, and in the end all that happened was a lot of rain, but I'm not one to panic in these situations because if my number's up, my number's up and no amount of preparation or resilience is gonna counter that. I've made peace with that. And besides, I'm just as prone to heatstroke now after getting sun poisoning so severe once that my entire torso turned purple. No joke. It can be 30 degrees out in the middle of winter and if I'm standing in otherwise bright, sunny conditions for too long, it negatively affects me. You wanna know what I consider ideal conditions? For my money, it's a balmy, beautiful sunshower ![]() ![]() Good question...to know me and to know my blog is almost like knowing two separate people. Hear me through, don't interrupt, and let me do some 'splainin'. I like to write. It makes me happy, and I can portray that in various fashions...through joy, humor, sarcasm, etc. If you perceive me to be happy, well, that's just that: your perception, based on my words. I won't put up much of a fight with that. But personally? I'm a thinker; more specifically, a brooder. The devil's advocate. The three sides to every story. I'm a realist and a cynic. I've been seeing a therapist for over two years, and so far I've learned that I'm a represser, with an all-or-nothing mindset and determination. I have trust issues based on that, and I'm skeptical of damn near everything until I see valid, concrete proof. I can hold a decades-long grudge, especially if my convictions have deep-rooted meaning. To overturn that would require arduous mental labor on the part of someone who's on the wrong side of my internal belief system. Conversely, if you're someone or something I believe in, I'm 150% behind you and will defend you like a pit bull. When I've got your back, you don't have to question my support. It is for life, or until you cross me...and should you, good luck getting me to turn back to you on your terms. I believe firmly on being in control of myself in most situations, and when I'm not I'm likely to run, avoid, and/or act in ways to recoup anything I might have lost in myself along the journey. Simply put...you want to be on my side, because although I don't often do it nor like to, I can tear you apart. But please don't get that confused with the knowledge of who I am and want to be. While I can start off thinking the worst of people or situations, once I've cleaned out misconceptions I'm the easiest person to get along with. I hate confrontation (another therapy breakthrough...I'm also an avoider in many ways). I'll fight for myself for as long as I see fit that I can make a difference, but I won't waste breath or steps on trying to change the mind of someone who stubbornly refuses to see me for who I am and can be in a positive light. And I think I might've veered a little off topic (but you'll have that with me sometimes...it's part of my package). Happiness is often fleeting...resentment lingers. I laugh when people say "Search and you shall find..." because I've found that it just isn't that simple. I've seen enough to know that I've seen too much. ![]() ![]() Crushed down and faded. That could describe a multitude of my experiences in life. I've had the highest of highs, and I've been through the lowest of lows...all of the hyperbolic attributes your imagination can come up with, and then some. I don't want to be in a good or bad place; if you believe in anything you know neither lasts forever and maybe the safest place is somewhere in the big middle of nowhere. "If I get bored you'll see...me wearing out my face. You know it isn't easy filling up that space." Lyrics. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Double ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I think that's all I have for you guys today...which is more than I can say for yesterday when I felt lightheaded and ambivalent and useless. Hope you feel better, or at least respondent. Peace, it makes me think it's dirty, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |