The darkest kiss amongst us

Chapter Two

I leaned against a large oak tree under the drizzling rain that surrounded me. I glanced at my brothers grave shuddering as I read his name across the cold hard stone. I felt the warm sensation of tears as it slipped across my flushed cheeks. I closed my eyes feeling my eyelids cross my cheeks like small feathers trying to hold back the dam of tears that was building up. I was locked away in my own grief when I was tossed out when the thoughts of my surrounding family started hitting me in every direction. "not here not again please no I gasped as my hand flew against my forehead my knuckes begging to turn my white as I gripped my forehead. The funeral had only just begun but I already wanted to run." what will happen.... Poor girl... She really is insane... What will become of her now her brother is gone... No one will take her." the thoughts kept coming I covered my ears, knowing but hoping it will help you can't fight off thoughts that rush into your mine at every second. I sped across the dark cemetery when I felt arms grab me as I ran into a sold chest. "I'm sorry.. I. I wasn't looking I manged to stamper. I looked up as warm arms circled my waist a warm finger lifted my chin as I glanced into the warmest brown eyes. " My name is William what's yours? He asked with a soft smile. Even though it was a simple question something about your eyes made me break down as I clug against your shirt while you held me as the rain continued to pour around us. I snapped my eyes open once again trying to shake the memory that once brighten my day. I glanced up at the officer who was happily munching on McDonald's. I sighed rolling my eyes wondering how they can eat while the people surrounding them was eating food that could barely past as dog food. The gauard mange to stop eating long enough to grab her walkie talkie that was buzzing on the table near by. She placed her food down glaring as if it was my fault I sighed again and looked away. She got up stomping towards the door "well aren't you lucky she said with a scowel barely a day here and already someone paid your bail she sneered. " oh how sad and I was just starting to feel at home I hissed with a smirk. With a final glare she turn away waiting for me to follow her. Then it hit me who would help me who would come to my rescue and one person came to mine. But for some reason I couldn't move my body was frozen I was washed with unwanted memories. A Memory I hoped to lock away and never re open. I started as I slid down the hard cold bathroom wall my aunt just told me of what the one person I thought I could trust have done but why... Why now.... I kept screaming in my head. Refusing the let the words leave my mouth. I closed my eyes praying the thoughts will cease so it won't swallow me as a never ending abyss. The guard snatched me out of my mind and back into my reality she yanked at my arm and forced me to walk. I signed observing my surroundings as I walked but my mind kept wondering to Williams how could I have not saw how. My thoughts fell short as I glanced up to a person I never thought I lay eyes on again. "hello farther" I said waiting as he parted his lips to reply..It's been a while" my dad finally said after a awkward silence that seemed to stretch for miles. I just started not understanding why he was here... Why... After I stopped not needing not wanting to relive that cruel memory that hunts the back of my mind at every second. I sighed while turning on my heel glancing at the officer "I opened my mouth just to sneer" I rather be here then to ever be near... Near i couldn't finish. There was not a single word that could describe my father. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the thoughts that was jumping out of my father's mind. "I didn't know.... He died... It wasn't on purpose... As the thoughts swimmed against my fragile mind, I didn't even notice the officer leave my side. Not noticing my body reacting on its on as my hands flew against the side of my head gripping it like it was my lifeline. I glanced up seeing him... Seeing him... After all that he did. I felt a pang go thought my heart seeing the sparkling green eyes that reflection of my own. I trusted him... I needed him... But he destroyed my once peaceful world. Even after my mother I thought... Since I had him... But instead he shattered the shaky truth I stood so desperately on. I looked up and started into his eyes. The question that has always swam in my mind since the horrible actions that he created... That he mastered. "why I said barely letting the words leave my trembling lips." why... Why did you have to kill him? My dad for the first time in my life had nothing to say he stared not understanding the question surprised was written on his face as his mouth made a sound like a fish with out water. I gazed at him not believing even myself that I asked the one question i thought would never leave my mind leave my thoughts that spin in a never ending cycle. My father finally snapped back and sighed the words that left his mouth next was not the answer I wanted it wasn't even close "it was your brothers fault if he simply would have just listen I mean... I don't know how it came to that. I cut him off before he uttered a single word against the one person who cared the one person who was there" don't you dare I snapped pointing a trembling finger in his direction don't you dare blame him for your evil and pointless actions I said in a barley harsh whisper not being able to let the words leave my mouth. He glanced at me turned around and walked away. I stood there rooted to the ground as the events finally and fully crashed against me. I couldn't move even thought I wanted to I just couldn't. Knowing that even when I leave the doors of this place nothing will be the same I will never have Williams the one person... The one i shuddered stopping the many thoughts that played in my head. My dad stopped and looked over his broad shoulder at me "are you coming" he asked waiting for my response I looked up nodded and took my first step into a future I knew nothing about. I was surprised even myself that I could walk, my legs was shaking hardly able to move one foot in front of the other. My breath coming in short gasps barely leaving my pale trembling lips. When we finally magae to get across the long parking lot. A thought finally rushed forward what was I supposed to do go with a man who destroyed my life or, turn to the one I love who may be even after I read his letter and after he stared at me so codly I still thought that maybe this was all a mistake a cruel joke and that I would be waking up soon. My father glanced up noticing that I haven't made any effort to open the car door. "do you honestly belive that anyone would help that you have anyone else to turn to.... You... Just... Get the car" he finally said. I looked up and then back at the car. I closed my eyes as a rush of memories slammed against my hollow mind. I sighed as i started at my brother who once again wouldn't let me drive. "come on please I won't kill you I said well not on purpose I said with a shy grind. " Oh that makes me feel so much better he said laughing. Find you can drive but only this one time he said tossing me his car keys. A huge grin made its way across my face as I caught the car keys I reached the handle to the door. Ready to drive my brothers car for the first time. But it would also be the last time because he... I yanked myself out of the cruel memories that still haunt my every waking move. With Tears streaming down my face I grabbed the handle and slid in the passenger seat. I looked at my father and waited to see what he would do where he would take me. At that point all fight had left my body, and the sad part is I never thought it would happen. I looked at my father waiting for him to make the next move. My life became a chess game with every player throwing me in different directions and haveing suprise turns in every move they take. Just like chess I don't think I will ever fully catch up. Lost in the world that I once called my mind but now I don't even know what it is anymore. My father with his green eyes something that I use to cherish because I had the same wonderful spell binding eyes. But now it just a reminder of what I have lost... What I.. I shook my head erasing the memories that over came me. My father turned and looked at me and said the first thing since we got in the car. Listen I don't know what to do... I never meant... The car just got out of control... He should have... I snapped stopping him in mid sentence "no I said with as much force that I could muster you are the one who hit him your the reason his beautiful face was crushed against his window... Your the one who took my light... The one I stopped unable to continue unable to find the courage to finish the stament. My father took one last look at me sorrow overcoming his eyes. He turned around and started the car. To take me to a place that I have no knowledge of.

I placed my forehead on the cold window letting my mind take over letting my thoughts scatter where I don't know. Before I could finish a memory flooded my mind. I was sitting in front of my brother. "listen you can never let anyone find out who.. Well... The things you do they won't accept.. they won't understand they will take you away" before he could finish I threw my small five year old arms around his neck. "I promise I wont.. I promise I whispered in a shaky breath that barely left my mouth. I was snatched from my memory and really understanding how deep I was in how much my life will never be the same. Even if I leave the jail or even the country. I know they will never stop looking for me. With a shaky sigh I turned to my father. What now.. What is going to happen to me... To you after you left I never and what you did.. I stopped not able to finish my stament. Fear was racing though my veins. I couldn't control the wild thoughts that I created that I made I couldn't control my very own mind. My dad shook his head and with a sad smile he said the words I never wanted to hear "I honestly don't know.. All I know is that they know everything... The sad and pathetic part is, it's because you trusted a boy that you never knew. I started a shoke written on my pale face. I looked at my father with wide eyes and opened my dry shaking lips to respond..I glanced at my father my dry lips cracking under the intense glance of my father. Before I even had the chance to let the words leave my mouth words I never could think of words that would never come together.. But I had to try, to explain how I the one person I thought I knew the one person who I should of protected but no I let one mistake one small and simple mistake break my life around me. Like shattered glass and I was finding it very hard not to walk on the pieces that was scattered around my numb pale body. My father glared one hard cold glare. With lips pressed hard he spoke barely letting the words hit my ears. There was no reason no reason at all for you to... To tell anyone what you did... Well you can just ugh i don't know what to do for me or even you.. How can we survive they... They will be looking... He manged to get out. I turned around and started out the ghostly lit parking lot and sighed. Yeah I was supposed to trust myself but I am the one who destroyed my own being and never knew it until it crashed on my unaware life the one I thought I could live though...I signed as I placed my hand on my check surprised when I felt moisture coming in soft waves done my cheeks. I stared in suprise wondering when I gave my will and finally let the dam crumble releasing the small rivers that builded up behind my eyelids. My dad glance at me and with hesitation he reached in the glove department and grabbed a small piece of torn off tissue and gently wiped my tears away and trying to catch the ones that wouldn't stop coming. After a moment of silence my dad finally spoke up startling me out of my thoughts. I really need to stop zoning off because it's becoming a annoying habit. I rolled my eyes and let out a small giggle. "you think this is funny my dad snap. " no. Of course not I was just thinking about how I needed to stop zoning off and I realize I'm worrying about something so small with everything that has happened. I finally manged to say behind fits of laughter that didn't want to stop..my dad didn't say anything but started the car I fell silent once more as we drove down a side street. My eyes opened wide. "you have to be kidding I mean your going to... But... But why I said in a small voice something I didn't think he would hear I didn't think... That the car that felt safe a few minutes felt like I was now being dragged to hell and I didn't know the way out...I slid down my seat in the car hoping by some miracle that the car would swallow me whole. My dad grabbed my arm and yanked me up glaring. "behave do you really think I want to be here any more then you.. Buy I guess you can always blame yourself he sneered turning towards a driveway one I knew to we'll one I never thought I see again. Before I can mutter a response my mother came rushing out the door and standing in front of it like a guard denying our way in. I signed got out the car and walked towards her "hey mom I said with a smile how I so miss your lovely smile I said with a smile. My dad stood behind me not saying a world" just let us in please he said above a whisper. Fine she said turning around and opening the door and what stood in front of me took my last of my breath out of me I stared in the eyes of the one person the... Before I complete my thought my body fell forward and my mind went completely blank.,I woke grouchy as I rubbed my eyes and looked around noticing I recognize where I was. Ugh I sighed slapping my forehead and praying when I open my eyes again to see that this was all a dream. I looked around once more noticing that my mother hasn't changed anything since the last time I was here almost ten years ago. I turned around to see my mom walking though the door glaring "I rather have a stray dog sleeping there then you she said standing next me. Before I could utter a single word William walked in and just stood there glaring not uttering a single word. You have some nerve to even show your face I yelled swinging my feet off the living room couch. Before he could respond my mother jumped in sneering you can't stay here you or your father they will be coming for you and that is not my concern so pack some things and leave. My jaw dropped what do you want us to do or go there is no safe place if they catch me again they will.. Like what happened... I stopped not being able to finish. Not my problem my mother sneered before turning and storming off. I closed my mind willing myself to enter William mind and the thoughts that I found there shocked me to no end...One word slammed into my mind despair. Listen and listen careful your mother wants to destroy you and your father in the next few months at all cost I never betrayed you the only way to have a chance against her is to work on the inside. He must have noticed that my mouth has dropped open because he continued your mother is going to die in the next few months and she wants to destroy you before it happens the plan now is ... Before he could finish that thought my mother barged in you need to leave now she snarled you had your little nap now leave. Before I could make a snide comment a idea flashe inside my mind. May I use your restroom I said as sweetly a possible. I don't know what your up to but make it quick. I jumped from my sitting position and headed to the bathroom knowing my mothers office was right beside it. I looked both way before I carefully made my way to the door taking out a bobby pin and unlocking it as quickly as possible with one more glace behind my back I entered and rushed to the desk and computer where the filing cabinet was located. I tugged at the doors on the desk soon realizing it was locked. Great I groaned I turned and looked around knowing my mother ahe probaly hid the key in this very office I soon discovered it unde. A plant in the far corner I opened the door flipping though the documents. I know it's here somewhere I just know it. My eyes lit up when I finally found the small vanilla folder with my brothers name writien across it in neat script. I stopped am I really ready to find out the truth would it be better left alone. With my thoughts swimming in my mind I open the folder that was in my shaking hands and saw the words that I already knew that I refused to know the death of my brother wasn't what I always thought no ...I never thought it could be this bad no I thought the end of my brothers life was bad enought but no it was much much worse then what my mind could even grasp. I stared at the folder in my hand.. Holding it like it was my lifeline. Not seeing the words that were floating across my vision... it says that the accident that killed my brother was in fact not an accident, but he was dead before the accident even occurred.. The accident was a cover up to a crime I never even knew existed. I closed my eyes, praying that the knowledge would disappear from my mind, though I swore to myself I wanted to know the truth..... But I could never imaged.... That.... I couldn't even..... My brother met his end by getting stabbed several times. But as I looked through the file several papers have been missing one of them is the one I needed the most and that was the name of the person who did it. I stared at the paper unable to move, but knowing I needed to. My mother will notice that I have been gone way too long. Then it hit me all at once if he was killed, why was my father telling me it was an accident. Was he involved. I snapped back to reality when I noticed the paper ripping under my trembling fingers. I closed the folder placing it carefully back in the drawer. I stood on shaking legs willing myself to stop trembling. I bit my bottom lip, placing my hand on the cold door knob. I opened the door and took my first step in finding the truth even if it killed me. As I walked towards the living room, I couldn't hold back the thoughts that flooded my head.. I am like a puzzle my life scattered in so many pieces with only small hints on how to put them together. As I go further I fear that my pieces are just growing, changing the shape of each piece making it a new image all together. I have tried putting it together and every time I do the pieces never fit. I closed my eyes leading against the wall, unsure of how to continue. Why has my father been lying to me about the death? Who did it and why was it not with the rest of the file? I turned around and ran right into Williams. You know don't you? He asked, glancing at my flushed face. But I couldn't make myself move. I know who did it he whispered before turning around and walking away