Wondering about my Wanderings

Ticket to Ride

I can recall a song that repeated over and over that I've got a ticket to ride. It kind of makes life worth living that you have that one ticket that is going to get you in to the mass of people called humanity and now it is just a matter of hanging on for your life.

I thought of this at some length this morning as I wiped my eyes and determined that it was about time I got up and got going.

You see I think most people arrive in this world and they get this free ticket which I will call humanity. That does not mean that everyone wants it. That is a completely different story that I do not have time to get to right now. When I think about humanity, I am thinking of the fact that I arrive with no strings attached out of the mother's womb and for a moment that seems at time to last for eternity I am ok, because of this thing called the human race.

Somewhere along the way this race called the human becomes quite frenetic and quite often without intending for it to happen I/you get lost. This is where it gets really good. Stay with me. I determine to recover the ticket that I thought I had lost. Eureka!!!! This recovery can take all kind of twists and turns. It can be as simple as waking up and recovering from fatigue, to finding your keys(you can not believe you did it again) "You dummy!". There a myriad of opportunities to recover that ticket to humanity throughout life.

That is where I feel myself getting on a giant roller coaster on the way down looking in anticipation up. Much of my life has been spent trying to recover my humanity, because of a lifetime bout with mental illness. Part of the problem is no one really cares. (that is my take on it). I have something called "bipolar disorder". In layman's language it means I have my ups and downs and thus the roller coaster analogy fits real well. Now if I were a doctor or movie star or even great (whatever) someone would want to listen to my story they could not get enough of wanting to be hear my story. But no, I am just me and I've got a ticket to ride.