Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

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Fucking kidding me?


*polite warning* about a year ago, I gave this blog a very high rating – purely for days like today. So if you don’t like the words fuck or shit – or variations there of – shield your eyes.
I’ve been meaning to blog for a while. But I’ve been waiting until I’m in an exceptionally funny mood so I wouldn’t depress you all. Well, that’s kinda gone to shit… I apologise.

So lets start with the cliff notes:
A year ago I broke my foot. How? I needed a piss and in my rush to get into my house I tripped over just outside my front door. In case you’re wondering…no, I didn’t get to the toilet – not for another 4 hours anyway.
So, broken foot. They couldn’t cast it straight, so the geniuses cast it turned in. clever!
Cast comes off in October and my foot is wonky as fuck so I need to learn to walk again. I am given a crap physio who doesn’t have a clue so I do it myself.
About a month later, my foot starts to scream bloody murder. I spend the next two/three months trying to convince Drs that I’m in agony and its something to do with tendons. I told them I thought I’d undone the surgery I’d had done in 2005.
In February, I’m finally believed and eventually I am referred to the guy who did said surgery in 2005.
Fast forward six months, a cocktail of different drugs that never work and not a lot of sleep, aaand we get to today…

The day I get to see the surgeon!

Woahhh… don’t get too fucking excited dudes!

I should point out that I actually went to see this surgeon guy privately at some point because I knew that I wanted his advice. He said he needed to get an MRI done to know for sure what the score was. I don’t have private health care so the MRI would have been £1500. But he said “get referred to me on the NHS and we’ll sort it out.

I fought tooth and nail to get that referral. Tooth and fucking nail.

Today, I’m waiting for this guy, with Chris, in a tiny room aaaaand in walks his junior!!! Now, Chris has never met the guy I wanted to see (Mr Robinson) before so didn’t know what he’d look like. The junior didn’t introduce himself because I’d met him at the private clinic. BUT I knew that as soon as Chris worked out that this wasn’t the guy I’d fought for, he’d go ballistic. I was raging inside but I’m calm compared to Chris!

Sooo, I just chatted to this guy… he looked at my foot and said “oh it looks like you’ve already had surgery around the area you’re concerned with!”

Aaggggghhhh you think!? In fact there are no words to describe what went through my head at that point. Fucking fuck.

Politely, I said, “yes, Mr Robinson did the surgery.”

*Queue Chris going rigid in his seat and going redder in the face*

Anyway, the guy was clueless.

Outcome?

“you need a MRI scan and it’ll be a 12 week wait… bye!”

Whh… FUUUUUUUCK