Jaded Warriors book 2 (Jade Series)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14


The endless days and sleepless nights wore at me even though Megan and I found ways to busy ourselves together while they were gone. I slept the first night at Gage’s house but woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare even though I slept with the lights on. Every creak in the walls, every eerie buzz of silence bristled my nerves and sent chills through my body as I psyched myself out.


Megan and I spent the next couple of weeks talking to the late hours of night at her house about them. She was glad for the company and I was relieved I didn’t have to sleep in an empty home. We still slept with a light on.


Deanna invited Megan and me over often. We usually ate all together and I helped Deanna with dinners and cleaning. Her husband Dave was on the same rotation as Joel and had been gone for a month already but would come back with Casey and Gage. Together, the three of us managed to fill the loneliness they left.


“I think I’m going to go lay down for a while,” Megan said as she finished with the strand of yarn and tied it in a knot on the baby quilt we pieced together. With only four weeks to go, the strain on her body left her miserable. If you looked at her from behind, you couldn’t even tell she was pregnant. A side view, a different story all together. She struggled to stand as her belly got in the way and I laughed at her.


She placed her hands on her back for support and stretched. “I can’t wait to see you like this,” she said, then gave me a sarcastic smile as mine became nonexistent almost immediately, replaced with a scowl.


“You won’t see me like that… ever,” I said with firm conviction. Unable to be convinced or lured to change my mind.


“Why not? You don’t like kids?” She asked, surprised by my statement. Deanna looked up from threading a needle as she watched our exchange with silent curiosity.


“Of course I do… That has nothing to do with it.”


“You scared?”


I scolded her with my eyes but she just laughed as I blatantly lied to her. “No…”


“I wouldn’t blame you if you are… I’m scared. We’re back to delivering babies the old fashioned way, no hospital, no epidural, probably no doctor.”


“I just don’t want to have kids with things the way they are,” I said, only half the reasoning behind my decision, but the most justified and a largely influential one at that. I shifted uncomfortably under her stare, apparently unconvinced. “And I’m too young.”


“I’m too young, too… if given the choice, I would’ve waited, but would still decide to have them some day. Life goes on, Jade, even during war… It has to,” she said, as she eyed me with suspicion. “Does Gage know?”


“Still not going to happen,” I said, to her prodding. “And no… I haven’t told him.” 


“We’ll see,” she laughed as she walked uncomfortably to the door. “In fact… I would bet you do. Maybe not soon, but you will, some day.”


“Nope. You’ll have to repopulate the world without me.”


Deanna laughed, breaking the harmless strife between us. Megan’s smile grew and joined Deanna as they teased me with their laughter at my expense.


I’ll see you later,” Megan said, as she shut the door behind her.


Deanna and I finished the stitching together with nothing more said about the subject, me having kids. The thought terrified me.


“You seem to be doing better, Jade.”


“Yeah, I feel much better,” I paused, “I never thought I would ever be able to say that again.”


“But now you can.”


“I’d probably still be in that room if Kane hadn’t thrown me in the snow.”


“I wondered what you were doing outside in the snow in your pajamas.” Deanna gave me a funny look.


“I guess Kane was worried about me.  I hadn’t left my room since I’d been back. He grabbed me from the bed and carried me outside and threw me in the snow.”


She laughed. “Why?”


“He said I needed to feel something.  I guess he felt he was losing me. And he was right. The only thing I wanted was to be dead, like Trey.” I paused for a moment. “He didn’t know what else to do. I was so numb inside for a long time…”


“It’s hard to lose someone very close to you. You don’t ever completely get over it.” I knew she knew how I felt about losing Trey. “When Zach died it took me a long time to get to where I could be happy again. But I did eventually. And I know he’s in a safe place now. He’s doing just fine without me. It was just his time to go. His job down here was done… The same with Trey. Trey came here with a purpose, Jade... We all did, even you.”


“I never thought about it like that before,” I said to her. “Thank you.”


Deanna reached over and brushed my hair off my forehead. “I remember watching the three of you when you were young. You kids were so cute together. I will never forget watching Trey and Zach play. They used to really watch out for you.”


“Yeah, they were a lot of fun…”


“Gage has been like a son to me since they moved back. I’m thrilled to see you and Gage together… It’s kind of funny how things work out, but it always does… Everything will work out in the end. I believe everything happens for a reason…”


I didn’t know what to say about that. I had heard that once before, from Damian.


Just then Ivy and Hannah ran in from the outside. “Can we go feed Fire, Jade?”


“Sure, let me get my boots…”  I replied. I guess my conversation with Deanna would have to continue another time.


“We wanted to go by ourselves,” Hannah said. She had helped me feed the horses the last few days. I smiled, just another little girl in love with a horse like I was. I took them for a ride yesterday, and they hadn’t stopped talking about the horses since.


“Well, you should probably ask your mom if that’s okay first.”


“Yeah, you can, if it’s okay with Jade.”


Ivy and Hannah bounced off the walls with excitement as they ran out the door. “Thanks!”





***


“Megan, you hungry?” I called out. She’d been gone a while and missed lunch so I brought her something to eat.


“Jade!”


The panic in her voice plummeted my heart into the pit of my stomach and I ran down the hall. I found her hunched over on the floor of her room. Her arms clutched around her belly, obviously in pain. I gasped, unexpectedly.


“Megan!” I knelt down next to her and helped her to the bed. “What’s wrong?”


“My water broke!”


She couldn’t be in labor already! She still had four weeks left and Casey wouldn’t be back for another two!


“I’m going to send Deanna over and go find Dr. Walstrom, okay!”


I ran across the street. I didn’t stop to knock as I ran in and found Deanna in the kitchen cleaning up lunch. “Megan needs you!  Her water broke!”


“You go find Marge and the doctor. I’ll go over and help Megan.”


***


         


         My lungs and muscles burned as I ran to Marge’s. I stopped, only to catch my breath as I reached the entrance to her store. Worry filled my mind as I imagined all the possible horrible scenarios as to why Megan went into labor so early and all the possible endings of what could go wrong for her and the baby. 


“We need Dr. Walstrom!” I said anxiously to Marge as I ran inside the store. The bell above the door chimed, announcing my entrance. “Megan’s water broke!”


“Dr. Walstrom isn’t here.” Marge said surprised as she looked up from her papers then walked around the counter and met me at the front.


“Can we find him?”


“He just left and was headed to the men’s campsite.”


“Why?”


I guess there could be a million reasons why he would go there, but I was irritated that he picked today, right now, to be gone. She put an arm around my shoulder.


“Darby Johnston came looking for him saying they had some injuries from last night and they needed more help.”


Surprise encompassed me as I heard there were injuries but I didn’t have time to think hard about it. “Okay, I need to go find Grant Hill. Gage said if we needed to get Casey to find Grant and he would go get him.” I turned to leave.


“Wait! Jade, wait… I’m coming with you,” Marge said. Keys jingled in her hand that she pulled from under the counter and followed me out the door, locking up behind us. “Dr. Walstrom left with Grant... He’s not here either. In fact I don’t think you will find any men here right now. They all went to help.”


A brisk breeze stole my breath as we stepped outside into the wintery day and headed back down the trail towards Megan’s. Marge half jogged to keep up with me. 


“How am I going to find Casey in time?” I asked through my haste. “He needs to be here.”


I felt sick to my stomach with the news, beyond worried for Megan, panicked. She wanted him there and I knew he wanted to be there. Not to mention if something went wrong.


“Jade, wait,” Marge pleaded, out of breath. I slowed my pace as Marge struggled to keep up. Her wheezing audible as her breathing increased. I stopped and looked at her, allowing her to catch her breath.


“I know where they are…” she paused, struggling for air. Slowly she recovered. “It’s ten miles west of the city but… from here it’s about thirty miles by road… If you take the trail south it wraps around the mountain to the west. It’s flat and only about fifteen miles from here if you cut through the fields and follow the railroad tracks along the edge of the mountain,” Marge said. “You are going to have to go find him, Jade. There is no one else who can.”





***


After Fire’s pent up energy waned I slowed her to a steady lope spelling her with times of walking in between. As she walked along the trail the frozen snow crunched under her feet while a weightless flurry of crystallized snow fell lightly from the grey sky. I cupped my hands over my lips and nose. My fingers were red and I blew warm breath from my lungs over them with very little relief. I pulled my jacket closer around me and pulled my hands into my sleeves. I wished I had worn gloves. It hadn’t snowed for a few weeks and I was glad for that but it was blistery cold outside, normal weather for the end of February. I wondered how Gage and the others were surviving in tents.


The ride seemed to last a lot longer than I thought fifteen miles would be, but after a few hours I saw rows of Army tents along the tree line. I nudged Fire to a steady lope, stopping at the first tent I came to that had men standing outside and asked someone if they knew Casey Jackson. Sent in the direction of a tent over on the tree line half way down, I hurried up to it.


“Casey!” I yelled, as I neared the tent. The flap of the tent opened. Casey walked outside and Gage followed. Surprise surfaced on their faces, myself just as surprised to see the condition of their bodies. They moved stifflike and slow, worn out like they just got back from a fight. Smudges of dirt and black char marred their bodies and Casey had a big gash on his left arm with blood on his grey tee-shirt. Gage, with his shirt in hand, quickly put it back on when he saw me to hide any marks.


“It’s freezing outside, Gage,” I scolded, in reference to his shirt being off outside in the middle of winter. A smile curled at the corner of his lip and he laughed a little.


“It’s warmer inside… I was just about to change.”


“What happened?”


“We’ve been pressing the line of the oil refineries and it got ugly. We’ve been out there since yesterday and just got back,” he said, and then he looked at me puzzled. “What are you doing here?”


I jumped off Fire and let her head drop as she snorted at the ground. She dug and licked at the snow, most likely thirsty from the strenuous ride. I looked at Casey. “Megan… She’s in labor.”


Casey staggered a step foreward, taking a moment to register what I said, and what that meant. “Right now? She’s in labor now? It’s too soon.”


“Her water broke. The baby is coming now.”


Casey just stood there and Gage slapped him on the back to wake him up from his stunned state. “I guess you better be going, Casey!” Gage grinned. “What are you waiting for?”


“You are a mess!” I added. “You should at least wash your hands.”


Gage laughed at my remarks. “You need a twenty minute shower.”


Casey scrambled around the old army tent and he looked for a clean shirt as he removed the dirty one. Steam rose clouding the air around the washbasin that sat in front of the tent. Casey splashed water on his face and washed his hair and hands quickly as goose bumps smothered his arms and back from the frigid air against his skin. My brows furrowed at the sight of him and their living conditions. Did they not know it was winter outside?


“Where’s Kane?” I asked Gage.


“Oh… He left with the truck to take a new group out. I don’t know when he will be back,” Gage said, and then suddenly, with a regretful look on his face, realized that was a problem. Casey looked out from under the towel as he realized he didn’t have a vehicle.


“What’s wrong with that truck?” I asked.


“It’s out of gas… We really need the oil refinery,” Gage said.


“I guess you could ride Fire back, I can walk. It’s not that far.” As I said it, I wished I didn’t. I really didn’t want to walk back. I’d be frozen by the time I made it, if I made it. But Casey needed to get back somehow.


“Yeah it is!” Gage said.


“It’s only fifteen miles if you cut through around the base of the mountains,” I answered back.


“Try more like twenty and it’s too cold. You’re not walking.”


“Oh, now you notice how cold it is,” I said sarcastically. Gage grinned at me and I couldn’t help but grin back with a fleeting glance. My face quickly turned somber. “Casey needs to go now. He still might not make it in time.”


“Casey, you take Fire, and I’ll take Jade home when Kane gets back.”


“Can you ride?” I asked Casey.


He gave me a smirk. “Did you forget I’m from Montana?” He said and gave an anxious smile as he adjusted the stirrups. “I grew up on the back of a horse… I’m just not sure I’ll fit in your saddle.”


Casey left after I gave him instructions to have Hannah put Fire up and make sure she got water, but not until she cooled down. That will be a long ride for her by the time they get back. Gage and I watched him leave, as we stood there unaffected by the cold.


“You must be freezing, Jade, come in where it’s warm.”


“Okay.”


“Why didn’t you send Grant?”


“I went to find Dr. Walstrom and Marge said that he just left with Darby and Grant to come here. There was no one but me to come,” I said. We stood in place outside in the freezing cold and continued to watch Casey ride out of sight. “Are you mad that I’m here?”


“No, just surprised, but it’s a good surprise,” he said with a smile. “So… Casey’s going to be a dad.”


I remembered what Megan told me and wondered if Gage knew or if that was a secret, she just told me.


“Casey isn’t the father.”


“I know, but he’s still going to be a dad.”


“They both are so young to be parents,” I said, uneasy about what they would have to face. Casey turned nineteen at the end of the year, the same age as Gage, and I think Megan was eighteen now. The thought of kids for myself, still terrified me.


“I guess you do what you have to when you don’t have a choice,” he said, and I shuddered as his statement rang true for me, more than I wanted him to know. He stood behind me with his arms around my waist. I leaned back into him. He didn’t say anything else and I wondered what he thought. I turned around to face him.


“Are you tired?” I asked. He hesitated for a minute, allowing my question to register. A simple question, but the distant look in his eyes told me that his exhaustion was the farthest from his mind.


“Yeah, I’ve been up for twenty four hours straight.”


“How long do you think it will be until Kane gets back?”


“At least several hours. Sorry I can’t run you back now. I’m sure you want to be there with Megan.”


“That’s okay… I really don’t want to be there,” I said without thinking. I instantly chided myself for my rudeness, my aversion to the whole ordeal, much too evident. I looked up as Gage eyed me with curiosity. 


“Come in where it’s warm,” he said, then pushed the tent flap open. I stepped inside and glanced around. My selfish comment thankfully either gone unheard or disregarded. 


The tent, made of thick canvas, plenty big enough to sleep four comfortably with the difference in temperature like day and night. A small portable wood burning stove sat in the corner, radiating heat from the metal piping that led out the chimney flap. The edges of the canvas blackened with soot from years of use.


Thick steam curled from the pan as Gage poured warm water into a basin and carried it outside. My fingers and toes burned from the blood and warmth that seeped back into them as I watched Gage wash up. Goose bumps crawled across his arms and chest as he shuddered from the cold.


I pulled open the tent flap as he walked back inside, rubbing his wet head with a towel. He tossed it aside then unbuttoned his pants before I realized he needed to undress.


“Oh…! Gage you’re changing your clothes,” I said, stunned. My nervous surprise evident as I spun around to face the tent wall. My cheeks burned as I realized I didn’t need to point out the obvious. I giggled out of embarrassment, unable to contain my smile that grew. I heard him chuckle and after a minute I felt him move behind me. My breath caught and I froze in place as I felt his hands softly on my shoulders. I let my eyes drift closed for a moment as I took a slow deep breath. He turned me to face him. Relief and torment whirled inside me at the same time as I saw he was fully clothed.


“I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind, Jade... Do you still feel the same as when I left?”


I stood inches away from him, but I wanted to be closer. The longing he had in his eyes, desperate for relief as he searched mine. My heart pounded against my insides as I rested the palms of my hands on his chest. The firmness of his muscles, tangible under his shirt and I could feel the beat of his heart, strong and steady.


“Yeah… I hate that you’re gone. I miss you.”


His lip curled into a faint half grin. With his lips next to mine, he searched my eyes for any sign of restraint or regret. “Can I kiss you?”


“Will you… Please?” I practically begged to feel his lips on mine as the soft caress of his hands cupped my cheeks and sent tingles throughout, warming my body. The gentle give and take of his soft velvety lips as they moved with mine sent a shiver up my spine. My body reacted in ways I hadn’t felt in a long time, overwhelmingly delicious, as only he could induce as he pulled me into him, surrounding me with his arms.


I didn’t realize until I felt the wetness on my cheeks and tasted the saltiness between our lips that tears had fallen, tears that only he could bring.


“What’s wrong?” Gage asked softly.


My eyes opened slowly and I gave him a smile as he brushed my tears away. “Nothing... I just needed to be near you, more than I realized.”


“I don’t mind causing this kind of tears.”


I wished for time to stand still as we stayed in each other’s arms, just as therapeutic as his kiss. A kerosene lantern hung from the rod across the middle next to our heads. Gage turned it down, allowing barely any light, just enough to see, then with his palm on my hip he directed me to his bedding.


I lied down next to him on the small twin size bedroll enveloped in his arms. Within minutes sleep found him. My insides calmed with my worry for Megan. She would be just fine with Casey. I didn’t need to rush to get home. I didn’t need to be there. I needed to be right where I was, sleeping next to Gage.