Thoughts of a Mad Man

For the love of evil...

So many words and not a thing to say.





WHy am I even here, on this page at this moment? Is there anything I have to say which might be of use to any person, I wonder.





The thought does not last long. I realize that of course, even the most bizarre ramblings might be of value to some person, might provoke something of value in the mind of another human, even if it is only the joy of superiority. Yes, there is something productive in revealing our wounds and failures to another. People need one another, and I can fill that need. Indeed, if I could not then likely, I would not feel it either.





This reminds me of a thought that would otherwise have fallen by the wayside: Suppose that you could make a record of your pain and foibles, such that it would bring delight to an evil person at no risk to you. Perhaps satisfy that dark craving to see another person suffer. It would be seen by no person who could profit by seeing your weakness, nor any person who might be able to harm you in any way. In no way would you suffer more, for having given them (and perhaps their potential victims) this diverting gift.





Would you do this? If you knew for certain that this record could never be used against you - perhaps it could not be read or seen for five hundred years, or only in a far off land, after the identifying marks were removed. Would it make you feel better for having suffered, to make something that, in its strange manner, is in fact beautiful to another person?





And so I leave this thought to you. Would you like someone to feel joy at your suffering - no matter how dark?