The Undiscovered Country

Nostalgic for Knowing Nothing

My first novel took a mere three months to write. My second, over nine. My third took another nine, if not a year. Since then, my subsequent novels are all perpetually incomplete.

The main reason (ignoring my chronic procrastination) is because I know more about writing well than I did when I first started.

When I wrote my first novel, I wasn't concerned about how well it was written. The story took precedence over technique, and in some cases, even grammar.

Now I pay attention to every word and sentence, and as such it takes me longer to get anything out. That same slowness inevitably makes me lose interest in the story, or I convince myself it's such a terrible story that I need not continue. I'm losing the story in favor of the words themselves.

This same issue has also spilled over into my photography. I still click away, although not as often as I used to. I plan more, and hesitate sometimes to the point I miss a good shot.

I also scrutinize each photo to the point that the shots I used to keep I now throw away, While I may save on hard drive space, I can't help but wonder if I'm being as overly-critical on my photos as I am with my writing, and I'm in the end missing out on some decent shots other people would love to see.

Was I a better writer and photographer when I didn't know anything?

It's a question I can't help but ask. I sometimes wish I knew less than I do so I could actually enjoy writing and photography as much as I did when I first started.

I know I'm not the only one, because many have said to make sure to turn off the internal editor while writing (or taking pictures). Sounds easy, doesn't it? But it's not. My internal editor is so loud and obnoxious, I can't ignore her.

Dang it.