IMPROMPTU PROMPTED BLOGGERISH

FEAR OF FAILURE

            Fear Of Failure



I usually like to say as much as possible in as few words as possible.  I could write volumes on this prompt, from both personal experience and opinion.  Nobody is going to be able to understand exactly what I am trying to say, because nobody will have exactly the same definition of the terms which I am going to use.  I believe fear of failure, is basically the individual's fear of not being perfect in her or his own eyes.  Then, of course, there is the difference between perfection of "being" and the perfection of "doing".  Many people define the fear of failure as not doing something well enough in the eyes of others.  There are many different views of perfection and definitions of failure.  Many of these representations of psychological states can be viewed as either healthy or pathological.  As far as where fear of failure comes from, well, there are just as many opinions and true answers.  At this moment, in my opinion, I would say that pathological fear of failure is learned, usually from our parents, whereas healthy fear of failure is instinctive, inherited from our distant ancestors; success, rather than failure in survival techniques being an essential component of evolution.  Now, rather than writing a textbook on the topic I will give my personal experiences.

Fear of failure, or more precisely, the feeling that I was required to be perfect in every way, has been one of the essential controlling factors in my life,(perhaps the main factor).  It is a common occurrence, but it was overwhelming in my case; my mother thought I was perfect and required that I behave perfectly, not so much in the moral sense, but intellectually and physically.  So I tried to be perfect, and in most areas I did excel.  My mother would use guilt if she thought I wasn't doing quite as well as she thought I should be doing, so I would continue to try harder, sometimes moving a little higher in her perfection scale; but she was never satisfied.  As I grew up, I never had a fear of failure, because I was always successful in my opinion; the club over my head was the fear that my mother might not agree.  This continued into adulthood.  I was successful at everything I did, but the anxiety was crippling.  Fear of being not good enough in the eyes of others, most significantly, my dreaded mother.  It got to the point where I started to purposely sabotage my own success in a revolt against life.  Then all the usual things - Depression, Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Mental Hospitals, Jails - but finally I have still come out near the top.  I just decided I am the most perfect me I can be.