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My Personal Toadie

        A Walk In My Backyard Woodland


The day before yesterday I was taking a stroll through my five acre back-yard woods, meandering along the sheltered trails which wind back and forth, hither and thither, between screens of vegetation which I have established and carefully maintain, in order to make a walk in the five acre wood appear to be a hike through the endless mountains, when what did I espy, but a lovely Strangulated Aminitopsis.  Its fragile beauty was breathtaking so I squatted astride  a moldering log and meditated on this marvelously hyphaenated-miracle.  Along came a spider and sat down beside it.  All the while, in the background, A pollywoggishly lumbering toad was approaching, apparently bent on tasting this arachnic morsel. ( I say pollywoggishly because sir toad was quite obese and obviously elderly, but the twinkle in his eye indicated to me that he was remembering his larva-hood.)  By the time this Bufo reached his toad-stool, the spider had made her way off, sir toad, however, in his near-sightedness didn't notice and with a lurch, took a large bite out of the fragrant-fungus.  I was sitting, mesmerized by this little drama taking place before my wondering eye, while the other eye wandered.  Although toads do not usually eat mushrooms, this toad was apparently enjoying this unexpected morsel, for his eyes began to brighten and swirl in his warty head as he munched.  I got on my hands and knees and peered into sir toads eyes with one eye while the wandering eye looked at Master Aminitopsis.  Why not?  I ate the remaining shroom.  Momentarily my eyes began to kaliedoscope and I began to shrink, or sir toad began to grow, I never did determine which, sir toad turned out to be a mademoiselle toad, and, then, hand in hand we continued our hoping through the woodland.  Later I awoke in my bed and didn't remember a bit of this.  For the life of me, I can't imagine how I have managed to write it down.