Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

Believe: Ability is a State of Mind

30DBC - 9th Jan - Prompt: Oh, you believe in something? That's cute. Make us believe in it too.

Ha! Yes! If all goes well (AKA my foot doesn't piss me off any more) I'll be up to date with all the 30DBC posts. Then I can go and make up some projects for "Merit Badge Projects"  and comment on everyone else's posts. If all goes well, I'll feel accomplished. What? I have an incredibly boring life at the moment. Don't judge me!

Invalid Photo #1043533

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.

Gail Devers

When I first saw this prompt, I was stumped. Spiritually: I believe in everything and I believe in nothing. I don't know much about ANY religion, yet I believe they are all viable. I would love to read about all religions, I just haven't. I've never seen an angel, fairy, or ghost, but I can't say whether I do or don't believe. Spiritually, I am uneducated. But I think that's okay - I like having things to learn about.

But then I realised that for some reason the word "believe", momentarily, meant spirituality to me. That's odd... I don't know why my brain came to that conclusion.

Anyway, once I got over that stumbling block, I realised I believe in a lot of things. Most of them are obvious and wouldn't require much effort to make you believe too, so there's no point in that... booooring.

However, the belief I'm choosing to talk about is obvious, too. Probably obvious enough for you to agree. Yet, I can almost guarantee that it is not obvious enough for you to live it...

I believe that ability is a state of mind

Disclaimer: I often put disclaimers on this type of posts because it saves people writing out long ol' replies telling me I'm wrong in terms of "this" or "that" and me having to explain that I wasn't including "this" or "that" in my thought processes.
          So... if anyone was to (god forbid) get cancer, or something equally as shit, I am NOT saying that their ability to beat it is purely a state of mind. Some people do believe this - I do not. A positive state of mind might help. But, in this sense, it won't cure.

No, what I'm saying is that the ability to live the best possible life is a state of mind.

When I was born, I was practically dead. I honestly shouldn't be alive. The Drs fucked up before & after i was born - when I came out, I wasn't breathing. But instead of, you know, helping me breathe, they just handed me to my mum. I was blue for fuck sake. The only reason they actually did anything to save me is purely down to my mum: she screamed for them to do something. Kept screaming until they probably just did something to shut her up. My mum saved my life, not the doctors... We were then sent home to live as if nothing had happened.

It was my mum - not the doctors - who later worked out that I had brain damage (Cerebral Palsy) as a result of lack of oxygen at birth.
As a baby, my prognosis was something like this:

          Will never walk
          Will never talk
          Brain function will be extremely limited
          Feeding would be difficult
          24hour care will be necessary forever.

This is what actually happened:

          I didn't use a wheelchair - ever - until I was about 14 years old
          I have a speech impairment, but my job is a motivational speaker
          I did struggle at school, but I have a first class degree, a masters degree and, if I wanted to, I could get a PhD
          I love food!
          I moved out and got my own place when I was 18 years old.

Bit of a difference huh? Why the difference, I hear you ask?
Well firstly, Doctors often talk bollocks to cover the arses (and boy did they have a lot of covering to do). But the main reason is attitude and state of mind...

Cerebral Palsy is different for everyone, granted. However, I know multitudes of people who should/could/would be as able as me, but they're not because their parents listened to the doctors and resigned themselves to a life full of dependance and medical procedures for their children. (Sadly, for some kids with CP this is not a choice - they're impairment is too severe - for that I am sorry).

But my parents basically stuck two fingers up at the Doctors, and went down the "attitude is everything" route. I'm glad they did.

I was taught to try, try and try again. This is why I am so incredibly stubborn. Indeed, if I hadn't have been taught to try, my life would be totally totally different.
I get so frustrated sometimes when I meet parents of disabled children who either say things like, "oh no, she can't do that, she'll get hurt," or "I wish he could do that like you, but we have to do that for him..." Well DON'T... let her get hurt, she'll get up again & when she does, try and do it another way.

I used to fall over all the time. Instead of picking me up (unless I really was hurt) my mum got me to get myself up... this was to teach me for now, when sometimes I trip up and no one is there to pick me up. I'm really good at falling over now my aim is impeccable.

When I broke my foot last year, the hospital were reluctant to let me go home in case I couldn't cope with the cast. My answer was, "I've been working out different ways of doing things for 30 years, I'm pretty sure I'll work this out. And if I get something wrong, I swear I won't sue you!" ... funnily enough, I was allowed to go home.

Speaking of suing people... we could have sued the hospital for screwing up my birth. My parents decided not to. But I could have done it myself up to the age of 21... I seriously considered it. In reality, I could have get about £3-4million - that's how strong my case was! I thought long and hard about it. One thing stopped me:

          To win my case I'd have had to stand up in court and say that the mistakes made at the hospital that day had completely ruined my life. I thought about this long and hard. There was no question that my life had been made much harder by what happened that day - that is/was totally true. But then, one night, I pulled out the World Championship gold medal I'd won when I was 16, and then the one I'd won the year before, and then the 4 Paralympic medals I'd won when I was 19. Looking at them, I realised, it hadn't ruined my life - nope. The mistakes that day MADE my life. I realised that, in some weird fucked up way, that nearly dying had made me successful.

So, no, I never sued. I didn't become a millionaire. And I'm glad!

I said earlier that I struggled at school - I did. I pretty much failed High School. People were always telling me I was stupid. I believed them - until I was 22. Then, I realised that school was shit because I didn't care. I wasn't stupid, it was just a state of mind. From there, I blagged my way into university. Now I have two very high degrees and two honorary degrees.

I realise I've talked about myself this whole time, but it was the easiest way to illustrate this belief.

It's very easy to say "I can't". But it is also a very lazy option. It's harder to try and fail. But how do you know you'll fail, unless you try? You don't.
Everyone is more able than they think, they just need the right state of mind!

--------

Huh... this is a pretty articulate entry for someone who's taken Morphine and Diazepam *pats self on the head*