Sandy Supposes....

Seafood, See Food

         It was the ladies' night we'd all been anticipating; all-you-can-eat seafood. Visions of lobster, shrimp, and crab legs had been dancing in our heads. We were more than ready to over-indulge.

         Laughing, we helped each other knot the red and white-checkered bibs under our chins. We celebrated our silly get-up with a few group selfies. It only made sense to mug for the camera, but as I flung my arms up to strike a pose I struck a waiter who'd snuck up behind me with several glasses of ice water. Smiling and shivering, he assured me this happened all the time; he was no stranger to sudden spills. The poor guy also endured ribbing about an impromptu wet t-shirt contest.

         This same waiter could only roll his eyes as we giggled at the alien-looking squid we'd plopped into my glass of water. He didn't find our antics amusing, but we thought the big - headed squiggle resembled an extra - terrestrial from a cheesy science-fiction movie.

         Slippery with butter, my hands lost their tenuous grip on a fork and knife which ricocheted across the suddenly quiet room. When I lurched to my feet planning to scurry after my wayward weaponry, the floating squid slithered onto my newly soaked shoes. In reflex, I kicked. This was a mistake. My sodden slipper slapped our wondering waiter in the face. Somehow, he remained gracious even as I blubbered an apology.

         What more could happen? The long-suffering server had the last laugh though. As my daughter-in-law screamed and knocked over a chair in her haste to flee a creeping cockroach, I swear I saw him grin in triumph. Our all - you - can - eat seafood buffet lost its lustre . We'd seen far too much.