A Book Nerd's Inner Voices

Negative Nancy

Do you ever go through phases where all you want to do is complain? Everything aggravates you, everything makes you want to groan, makes you angry and nearly thought is, well...negative.








I'm going through one of those phases right now. And let me tell you, it's annoying as hell.








Not only am I probably driving everyone around me crazy with my comments that I just can't seem to hold back, but I'm dragging myself down when I know that I shouldn't. The reasons don't even really matter. It's my actions that are creating this perpetual raincloud over my head and it's affecting everything.








My job, my relationship, my parenting...my writing.








I'm grumpy at work so I'm less inclined to be cheery which makes an already stressful environment downright depressing. My attitude is even starting to rub off on people at work (or at least it seems like it. Maybe I'm just blaming me.) Every little screw up--by me or anyone else--gives me cause to complain and I sit here and listen to myself and holy crap, I just wish I would shut up.








At home, I get irritated and end up snapping at the people I love or taking offense when no offense was meant. My boyfriend stops talking to me, my daughter cries and really, I'm just taking out my negative mood on them. And I hate it.








Then there's my writing. The one thing that I've always been able to just lose myself in, that makes me feel better all the time, is my work. My dream. The worlds and characters I've created. But being so negative all the time, I'm blocked. Which is definitely not good when you're trying to get revisions done by the end of the month. My deadline may need to be pushed at this point. Damn.








So here's my pep talk: Chin up. Where's that positive attitude you always have? Where's that sunny disposition that you worked so hard to maintain? Find it. Find quotes that make you smile, that inspire you, that empower you. Go on walks--rain or shine. Do fun things with your family and spend time by yourself. Quit moping and do all that spring cleaning you've been telling yourself you're going to do. Start acquiring things to brighten up your home. And by all means, write, write, write! Don't stay in that funk. Call your friends, go out and do things. Exercise. Read. Write. Study. Accomplish your goals and keep going.








I've said for years that your life is as happy as you choose it to be; as you make it. Guess I should start putting my money where my mouth is.