The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 2

Elizabeth the Saint

On the evening August 3rd, 2011, I asked Elizabeth if he could meet with her in her office, in which she agreed:
“What is the matter, Harry? You look like you are about to cry.”
“I never cry; I’m a real man.”
“Cut the bull crap, and tell me what you are upset about.”
“I can’t take it anymore: a lifetime of hatred; a lifetime of social rejection. When I was a kid, I was shunned from society. In fact, I remember when I was nine; I was amazed to have received human kindness when my cousin wished me a Merry Christmas.”
“Harry, I do not notice people hating you, but you pull so much s*** that pisses people off to a point where they don’t want to be around you.”
“I am talking about how when I was a kid, and the animosity still haunts me to this day. You remember when I was afraid to bowl with other students; that is because when I was a kid, people went after me for every little thing, and treated me like I was mentally incompetent. The reason I grew to dressing so well is so no one could pick at me for how I dress.”
“What caused all of this to cease.”
“There was this kid at my old school, Scott Harper, who was born prematurely, and that caused him to develop Cerebral Palsy. One day, when I was a junior in high school, that kid was provoked by something I said, and he turned to me and said, “Shut up, Harry.” I felt so demeaned that I pinned him against the wall, and stated, “I TOLD YOU NEVER TO TELL ME WHAT THE f*** TO DO.” Scott called me “retarded,” and I was so insulted, that I began making fun of him for having CP, and claimed that considering his situation, he had no right to go after me. After what I had done got around school, everyone hated me to a point where I thought someone was going to kill me and no one would do anything about it. I was used to having no one to hold me, no one to care to know anything about me, and having no compassion shown to me, but then this
“Harry, if you had gone to my high school, and you had made fun of someone with a developmental disorder, someone would’ve murdered you. If I had done that, my parents would’ve thrown me out on the street, and my parents are in no way bad people.”
“Why is it that people went after me for having issues instead of for my s***?”
“Your inappropriate behavior upset people in such an extreme way”
“Maybe if I had actually been loved, maybe I would be nice.”
“Harry, I’m sorry about what happened to your parents, but there are people who have much worse things happen to them, and they have sympathetic factors for committing atrocious facts, but we live in an unsympathetic world.”
“I often feel trapped in this world of loathing that I’ve endured.”
“I am not saying that people are nice or caring, but if you behave appropriately, people will treat you well.”
“How can I care for others when I’ve never been cared about myself
“Harry, you have pissed a lot of people off with the s*** you have pulled, and there are plenty of people in this community who are fed up with you. If you had changed, the $30,000 you are using to stay here for an extra term could be in your bank account instead of ours.”
“I know, but I feel people completely overreacted to things: like the marijuana, the video I made with Kellen, and my jokes.”
“Harry, people would look at anyone who casually smoked weed in a treatment program as being psychotic; anyone who made an amateur video about child abuse as a sociopath; and anyone who made black jokes as having some severe social deficits. It isn’t that you’re a victim; it is that you pull s*** that no one else pulls.”
“I’m trapped”
“Are you done being an asshole.”
“I will be when I’m treated right.
“Harry, people are not nice, but if you behave appropriately, you can find happiness
“Thanks, I also just feel I am suffering pain from the past, and I feel I don’t trust the clinicians to talk.”
“Do you trust me to talk about these feelings?”
“Yes!”
“Want me to close the door?”
“Yes!”