The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 2

MY CLOTHES

On September 2nd, 2011, My clothes rack quietly collapsed around 5:00 A.M., but it created a spark that woke me up. I got up, and once I was out of denial, I shouted “OH MY GOD,” and out of anger, I shouted “OH MY GOD” again. Mark woke up, due to my screaming, and asked me what the matter was, in which I shouted “MY CLOTHES.” Mark shouted “GOD DAMMIT HARRY,” and got up with the desire to beat the living crap out of me. Randy came upstairs, and worked with myself and Mark to fix the clothes rack, in which Mark then proceeded to yell at me for being a bitch.
Mark couldn’t get back to sleep, since he wanted to kill me so bad. Luke, who was woken up, originally thinking the shouting was Matt having another nightmare, thought about how even though he would be charged with second-degree murder, instead of first degree, 25 years in prison isn’t worth it. Matt was also woken up, but then he went back to sleep with pleasant homicidal dreams.
The next day, the guys decided to get back at me. I was lying on the couch reading The Wall Street Journal, when, all of the sudden, Mark took a bucket of water and dumped it all over me, causing me to whine. I went to Wal-Mart to buy a secondary rack, but that collapsed as soon as all of my clothes were put on. I was then given 3 racks to fit all of my clothes, which consisted of 2 suits, 6 blazers, 4 belts, 10 ties, 6 pairs of dress pants, 6 dress shirts, 8 dress sweaters, an overcoat, a leather jacket, 16 sports shirts.