The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 2

Ben Chase

On November 9th 2011, Dr. Linkins received a donation of half-a-million dollars from Margaret and Jared Chase. The two of them asked Dr. Linkins if they could personally meet with him, and he told them to come to Polly House at 1:00 P.M.. When they arrived, they brought their son, Bob, and his social worker Loretta. Bob had a near-drowning accident when he was a child, which made him nearly brain-dead; and all he could do was scream and rampantly move his arms. Without consulting the other psychologists, Dr. Linkins told them that Bob would be placed in the guys’ core house. At 2:00 P.M., the guys were having a late lunch, when Dr. Linkins brought Bob, Loretta and Bob’s parents into the house. When Dr. Gore announced that he was going to be their new housemate, Mark, Matt, Luke, John and Han all went into shock. After Dr. Gore told Mark to help bring Bob’s crib up to the attic, Mark developed some courage, and exclaimed, “HE IS GOING TO BE MY ROOMMATE?” Dr. Gore told him to go outside, in which he made a speech to him:
LISTEN, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT. YOU ARE LUCKY YOU WERE NOT THROWN OUT FOR WHAT YOU DID WITH HARRY, SO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE COMPLAINING. ARE YOU JUST UPSET YOU NO LONGER HAVE A ROOMMATE THAT YOU CAN GET DRUNK WITH, OR IS IT THAT YOU DON’T HAVE THE MENTAL COMPASITY TO EMPATHISE WITH OTHER PEOPLE? BOB MAY HAVE SOME DIFFICULTIES, BUT ROOMING WITH SOMEONE WITH DIFFICULTIES IS AN ENRICHING EXPERIENCE; AND IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT, YOU AREN’T READY TO BE AT GREAT ASCENDENCY.

That night, before dinner, the guys clustered their chairs together, where they moved Bob’s high top to the other side. During dinner, the 5 of them initiated a conversation of their own, where, in order to make Dr. Linkins, who was sitting next to Bob, happy, Rick told them all that they needed to make their new housemate feel more at home. With the hopes that it might help him win his computer back, Han asked Bob a question while Loretta was feeding him. Even though he was talking in a composed manner, his voice startled Bob, who spat the food on the table, and knocked his bowl over. As Loretta and Tommy comforted Bob, the other guys snuck away from the table.
After dinner, while Mark was reading in his room, Loretta brought Bob in, in which she calmly greeted Mark before lifting Bob out of his wheelchair, and placing him on the diaper-changing table. After watching Loretta change Bob’s diaper and powder his butt, he went downstairs to ask Luke who is on on-call for the night, and with a smile, Luke told him, Dr. Linkins consolidated the service. Mark called me up, asking if he could come stay at my apartment for the night; my response was, “Sure, this isn’t your fault. It’s Great Ascendency’s fault for not putting him in the transition house, where he belongs.” Mark exclaimed that he needed permission, and that Dr. Linins controlled on-call. I called Dr. Gore, since Dr. Gore had accidently given me his cell phone number, and Dr. Gore called Mark to tell him that he could spend the night at my apartment.
At 9:00 P.M., after having gotten back from the gym, Luke couldn’t wait to take a shower; but as soon as he walked into the bathroom, he noticed Loretta giving Bob a bath, while exclaiming, “good Bob, good!” Luke waited in his bedroom for the opportunity to shower, which was ruined when he overheard Loretta calling Jodi to exclaim, “Bob had accident in bathtub.” Luke finally lost it, and bursted into Han and Matt’s bedroom to exclaim, “The retard needs to go.” Matt concurred, but was afraid of how Dr. Linkins would accuse them of being insensitive for not putting up with him.
At around 11, the five guys were getting ready for bed, when, all of the sudden, Bob began throwing a tamper tantrum and screaming at the top of his lungs. After going on for about 4 hours and not being able to get any sleep, Matt and Luke went up to the attic to see what was going on, and they noticed Loretta holding Bob while exclaiming, “Bob scared, Bob scared.” At around 4:00 A.M., the 5 guys marched to Polly House, where they told Randy that they were spending the night there, and despite normally being an asshole, he allowed them to spend the night; which mostly had to do with the fact he had just purchased Batman: Arkham City for the Xbox 360, and he didn’t want to spend time arguing.
At 6:00 A.M., Dr. Gore called Adam and I into Polly House to give them a urine test. Matt, who was the only one up, went up to Dr. Gore and exclaimed, “If euthanasia is the only option, use it on Bob because we need that retard out of the house,” in which Dr. Gore overlooked the language. That day, Dr. Gore proposed to Tom that since there were only 4 girls in the program, they should combine them into one house; and they should put Bob into the old transition house, and Bob now has the goal of making people want to live with him. Dr. Linkins loved Frank’s “compassionate” idea, and he implemented it immediately.