Welcome To My Reality~

February Prompt #8

8. How do you cope with grief?

Well this is a good one to answer for me right now I suppose....I just lost my dad almost 3 months ago...I lost my grandfather, his father, when I was 10 years old. I have never gotten over losing my grandfather, he was my best friend and thought that I had hung the moon, just as I thought the same of him. I have grieved for my grandfather for over 17 years now..and I just lost my dad..OMG...I feel broken, lost, alone, angry, hurt, scared...every emotion possible! It has shaken me to my core losing dad. I was in shock literally till just recently...I have finally started to move into grief instead of shock..although that shock will come out of nowhere once in awhile and smack me in the face like "OMG Your Daddy is gone, forever!"....like a punch in the gut. I miss him beyond words could ever express.

I know that my grandfather has always been with me through life and still is...and so is my dad now to. My grandfather has watched over me, shown me signs and helped me in life...he showed me a sign the day I got the news about my dad. I know some people do not believe in this type of thing and that is just fine..but I know better! I have had wayyyy to many experiences to NOT believe.

I am learning how to process my grief over my grandfather and my dad at the same time, yet I feel like I will never have closure....I will grieve for them always...they live on forever in my heart and my memories. They are by my side always and I can feel them here with me, their presence known.

I miss them both so much...I truly still have trouble as I write this, saying that I just lost my dad...that throws me right back into that shock feeling...How I wish I had one more day with them both...there is so much I want to know and say...

But I will be thankful that I have them here by side to still continue to help guide and support me in life. I know that they are proud of me and that means the world to me.

Another tear jerking prompt today!