Welcome To My Reality~

February Prompt #10

10. Have you ever discovered you'd been doing something the wrong way all your life, or you'd been wrongly informed about something for a long time? Tell us about it.

These prompts can be taken in different ways...I am sure some people will write about doing something physical wrong or using an object wrongly...I think I shall dive deeper into it...I mean this is supposed to prompt us to write about what we feel regarding the prompt questions right?! Well...here I go...

I was raised being wrongly informed...about so many things that trying to write about it all would take me years...one thing that stands out more then other right now though is being wrongly informed about things about my dad all my life...

I was told he never called...didn't write...cancelled weekends....blah blah..In the past 2 to 4 years I have learned that was not true at all. That my dad DID call, and was told he could not talk to me...He DID write..I never got them...He DID try to get me and was told no...but I never knew. So a large part of my life was spent with me resenting my dad for these things...

I sit here crying now as I type this...I feel cheated and angry...I JUST found all this out and was on the road to really having the father daughter bond that I always wanted...I have always been a Daddy's girl..even when I resented him...maybe because I resented Satan (aka my mom)...and now that I know all of this information, I have yet to confront her about any of it...someday I hope to. For now I am grieving the loss of my dad...we were getting to such a amazing place in our lives and with our bond..and boom....he is gone. And I am left here to deal with the lies, abuse and deceit from Satan....till the day comes..and it will...that I will step up, not be afraid, and I will tell Satan exactly what I know and how I feel and I may end up walking away forever after I say what I want to say...maybe that is why I cannot confront or stand up to her now...I am afraid of walking away forever and being left with no parents, no family at all other then the one I have made....and that may end up being the perfect choice. I just know that the day is going to come when I tell the fear to shut up, and I tell her how it really is and how it is going to be and if she doesn't like it..well then she can walk away herself...

So yea...I have been wrongly informed, lied to for almost 38 years now...but thankfully my dad informed me CORRECTLY...now the ball is in MY court...

Game On...

gardengirl and Patrece ~ you both give me the strength to write about these things and get it out. Thank you...I am getting stronger and your undying love and support it what keeps me going! Love you both!