Welcome To My Reality~

February Prompt #25

25. Share a moment in your life when you felt utterly helpless and what you learned from that situation.

This one is a easy answer for me....I would have to say that when they took Raegan at 26 weeks by emergency c-section and everything started...I felt helpless. They wheeled me into the NICU after they got me all sewn up and out of recovery to see her...seeing this tiny 1 pound 10 ounce and 13 inch long baby hooked to all these machines and tubes were everywhere....She was so early her eyes were fused shut still and we had to be careful touching her because her skin was so think it could tear. I could not hold her for a few weeks. I had to sit by that bed with all those tubes and machines, and watch as my baby fought to live...for 10 months straight. Utterly, completely and 100% helpless feeling.

So I decided that I could NOT lose it..I had to be strong for my baby..so I started researching everything that I could and I was right there at rounds with the doctors and I was a part of her team and the decisions made. I learned that while I felt helpless and that I couldn't help her, I could...by being strong and being informed and being there by her side every day, every step of the way. I learned that helpless feelings are scary and that there are ways to still be apart of things and that I could still help in my own motherly ways!

She fought and has won...from where she was to now...Amazing! I have a miracle and she is my hero for sure!