Vertago

Human Nature

    I had completed my literature exam.
    As usual , I felt confident and was the last to present my paper
    to the professor... I like to reread the questions.
    I handed my rewritten and eraser smudged paper over with a smile.
    "My son drowned snorkeling." the professor stated with a blank expression.
    I froze in a dilemma between saying something trite or something personal
    from my own experience with the loss of a loved one.

    "I can't swim. I've always had a fear of drowning.
      I'm an atheist and I'm so sorry for your loss.
      Why are you here?" I stammered ....
    "It's all right. I made it up. I just wanted to see how you'd react."
    the professor smirked.
    I gave a nervous smile back an exited quickly to avoid any poor
    remarks. .. I didn't want to flunk a simple literature course.
    I got an 84.

    My life experience has given me an odd perspective on human nature.
    But, I have spent many years reanalyzing these odd events.
    For example, my sisters baby sat me.
    They liked to dress me up like a girl with their hand me downs.
    At the time, I thought this was normal, but, mom did not.
    Okay.  Why did this odd event happen?
    My sisters were teenagers and their ethics had not fully developed.
    It takes time to learn social behavior and respect for others.
   
    I had sex with my best friends sister ..
    I was in high school and Michael was not happy about me
    dating his sister Rachael.
    Once again, this was an irrational teenage impulse.
    Rachael's dad Gunther did not approve ..
    I assured him I was using condoms .. I actually believed that would
    appease him. It did not.
    I was banned from his house and forbidden to touch his daughter.
    Rachael and I got together outside and continued to have sex.

    What I concluded is this, we think we are rational, but we have a basic
    instinct to mess with each other.
    Most of human history has been driven by a desire to be dominant
    and good.
    Nevertheless, we are essentially monkeys with big brains.
    I still can't fathom why that professor wanted to monkey around with me?
    Maybe, she thought I was cute?
    There I go ... Silly monkey .

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