Welcome To My Reality~

March Prompt #22

22. Are you a spontaneous person or do you prefer set schedules and routines? Why?

Ahhhh....before I let my mental health take over so badly I was more spontaneous then now. I have always been someone who wants to know what they are scheduled for as far in advance as possible lol...but I was more of a get up and go type of person...before I became a prisoner of my own demons.....My ocd has gotten worse as the years go by....wanting to me to always be checking my planner and trying to know my schedule as far as possible...maybe I do it in a weird way so that it does NOT give me the chance to be as spontaneous as perhaps I may want to be. It keeps me grounded...makes me feel like "Nope can't be cool and have fun because I have shit on the planner!!" Grr..AM I doing that....if so then damn good thing that I am already in therapy LOL

I guess I feel if I check my planner and that day or whatever if free....I am able to be more spontaneous....but then again....who the hell schedules their spontaneous times..ugh I am hopeless AND hopeless....LoL

When summer is here, I AM more spontaneous for sure....the cold, snowy and rainy weather makes me wanna crawl in a hole...the sun and brightness makes me wanna enjoy life more....is that even healthy?? Hmmmm....interesting....Perhaps this is something that maybe I should bring up to my therapist...it for sure will make for an interesting conversation LoL She will either think I am even MORE insane or she will see it as a good break through that I even noticed....interesting for sure!