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Lists, Day 4: Things I've Learned While Traveling.

Ok...today's lists for "Invalid Item"  is "Things you've learned while traveling" and I don't consider myself to be a seasoned traveler by any means, even though it seems like I've been to a lot of places. I kinda haven't...there are some day trips and weekend getaways that are accessible easily by car, bus or train from where I've come from that make up my list, and that can usually make visiting different places more convenient. Usually .

1) Buffalo, New York: It's not cheating if you've lived there most of your life but don't anymore, because I go back to visit my mom and brother a couple times a year now. And you'd think that after living there for like 30-some odd years I'd know all there is to know about what it's like there, but somehow before this past Easter when I went back I didn't like the fact that usually when I go, I have to pack for all four seasons just for a four- to seven-day trip...and it's more of a challenge when going by bus (which is how I've been doing it the last few times). Gotta cram shorts, jeans, sweaters, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and everything else in a backpack...and make sure I've got the right pair of shoes on for all occasions. Like most of the northeastern US, this time of year it can be 65° and sunny on one day, and snowy and rainy the next. The weather struggle is real.

2) Cortland, New York: So this is the small town where I live now, and it counts as travel because I had to get here somehow. The closest sorta major city is Syracuse, and despite what you hear from anyone who asks where it is, it's not all that close if you don't have a car. Or cable TV. Despite this being the Syracuse television market, I can't pull in local channels with a decent antenna...which negates about half the points of me wanting a TV for Christmas. I mean, I have other ways and means and uses...but I can't just flip on the local news for a half hour of entertainment just because I don't subscribe. Screw the digital revolution.

3) Cleveland, Ohio: When you take a "Guys Weekend" trip and one of your friends says he's got a friend out there that knows some ladies we can hang out and party with, don't believe him. He's full of shit. Also, their science museum's auditorium is a great place to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon when you're hungover.

4) Toronto, Ontario: Canadian cigarettes are better than American smokes, for reasons I could never figure out. However, if you're at a gas station trying to buy them in US funds, I'm pretty sure they just make up a price to compensate for the fluctuating exchange rate. And I think they knew I knew I was being ripped off, but nothing says "dumb American tourist" more than not exchanging your currency at the border.

5) Barrie, Ontario: Further north of TO, and since I've been there more than once (twice!) it makes the list. Don't get rushed into mosh pits. And if you do, avoid crowd-surfers. They will murder your face before you can even see it coming. Also, don't expect to find your glasses or your friends when that happens.

6) A Caribbean Cruise: I loved it; it's the best way to vacation. But if you have the choice, get the all-inclusive package. I went with a large group of extended family, and some people didn't want to pay extra because they weren't waking up and heading to the ship's bars after breakfast with the cool uncles. Five days at sea, at least 12 hours a day of some sort of consumption, at at least $6.25 (US funds) a beverage (and this was 10 years ago or so, so it's probably even more now)...you'll have a lot more fun if you're not wondering two days in what your overdraft charges from the bank will look like.

7) Nashville, Tennessee: Possibly the coolest all-day live music bar scene of any city I've been in. Maybe the only one. Because most cities frown upon being able to walk into a bar on a Tuesday morning so you can listen to blues over a 32-oz. mug of Budweiser.

8) Savannah, Georgia: An absolutely gorgeous little place...and it's laid out like a grid, so it's easy to get around. Take an all-day bus tour...it's inexpensive and you stop at all the cool places. Bring a camera, and a girlfriend who doesn't have migraines the whole fucking time.

9) Miami, Florida: There are a couple of Walgreens in the city where the associates hardly speak any English. What was a simple question of where something was turned into a mini-fiasco because of communication issues. Bring someone with you that understands more Spanish than I did, which consists of how to order beer and one semi-obscene sentence that translates to "You have no hair between your legs". Five years of Spanish in high school, and that's all I remember.

10) New York City, New York: Everything is way more expensive there than anywhere else I've been to. If you can get to anywhere that isn't three blocks from where you're staying.

11) Washington, DC: Always follow directions and take no shortcuts, even if you're just participating in an endurance race with your boy scout troop in some remote area just outside the city. We took a wrong turn and had to wade through a sewage pit we thought was just a muddy lake that was deeper than it looks. I've never been so filthy in my life.

Also, in general, I'm not the best traveling companion. My sleep schedule is never like everyone else's, I'm never hungry when everyone else wants to eat, and I have to control the radio. I tend to get cranky more easily. As easygoing as I'd like to think I am, I can turn into an obnoxious little bitch. I'm not proud of that, because I wanna have fun and I want everyone else to enjoy their trip too. That's probably part of why I haven't been to as many fun places and done a lot of different things. But I'm trying to be better about it. I really am. We'll see; if I ever make it anywhere else, I'll try to be more behaved. I'll let you know how that works out .