Poisoned Purple Pen

The Customer is Always right!

"JAFBG"   by Elisa: Snowman Stik
Prompt: Tell us about a time you epically failed to keep your temper

Back in May of this year R was in Lebanon visiting his family and I was running the garage. Now mind you, I only work three days a week, 4 hours a day and usually cannot wait to come home. With him being gone I was working 6 days, and 7 hours a day. So you know right there I wasn't the happiest person on the planet.

We were having a decent day, weather was beautiful, and really warm, which means people want their AC fixed on their car, like NOW. So this dude comes in and says we replaced his AC compressor in his cab/car last summer and he wants it fixed. Not only that, but he's taken it to another mechanic who has specifically told him it's the compressor at fault, that there was another part we had to replace as well and recharge the AC system, and all for FREE. Well I pulled up his record on the computer, sure enough we replaced the compressor last year. Now R isn't there, he usually deals with the AC issues. My other two mechanics can charge the system easy enough, but we aren't taking some other mechanics word that the compressor is at fault.

This guy will not leave. I told him R is gone for another few weeks. He doesn't care. It's my problem and I need to fix it. Yeah right, douche bag, I'll jump right on that. To top it off, said pain in my ass tells me that he always has another mechanic look at his car, diagnose it, and R just does what the other mechanic says. I've been married for 25 years. Been working with him for at least 13 years. But apparently I'm some dumb bimbo.

I go into the garage, whispering with our other mechanics, and the pita leaves the office to see what I'm doing in the garage. Alrighty then! I go into the office, grab my phone and head outside behind the building sending Whatsapp messages to R about this pain in my ass. R of course says it's a lie, he would never take someone else's word and change something without checking it himself. one for me! R also tells me to tell the guy he'll have to wait until R returns to the States and back to work. two for me!

When I tell the pita this, he loses his damn mind. Now remember, I'm in surgical menopause, fighting hot flashes, instant anger, insomnia, and a lovely list of other annoyances, so my trigger is very short. Wanna know what word he used that flipped the switch? I know you do!

"I'm going to take it to the other mechanic, have him fix it, and then I'm going SUE you!"

Well that was it. I don't know who he thought he was talking to. I for one am not an idiot when it comes to cars, in fact, I probably know a lot more than 50% of the population. I can even diagnose something from listening to someone telling me about their problem. I'm pretty accurate thank you very much.

A shouting match ensued. He screamed at me, I screamed back, and on and on it went. I went to the garage, he followed, back to the office, he followed. I was so irritated by the time he followed me for thirty minutes straight I finally just told him to go ahead and sue me. I didn't care any longer. We were done! He had two choices. Wait for R for three more weeks, or take it elsewhere. He finally got into his car and left, but not until after sitting in the lot for ten minutes. Asshole.

And then the real fun began. Now I had to tell R that I probably lost him a customer, that said customer threatened to sue us, and I had no idea if the guy was coming back.

To my utter joy and amazement, R just shrugged it off and said Fuck Him! Mind you I've been in trouble with R before for fighting with customers. Usually the same asshole who shows up when R is away. It's like they know!

But when he said Fuck him! My first thought took me back to one of my all time favorite movies, My Chauffeur. Oh man if you haven't seen that movie, it's hysterical. I still die in a fit of laughter when I watch it.

Catfight: Who the fuck are you?
Casey: I'm the chauffeur
Catfight: Who's chauffeur
Casey: Your chauffeur
Catfight: You work for me?
Casey: Yes
Catfight: Then take off your clothes and get into bed
Casey: Mr. Fight, you have a lot people waiting for you at that concert right now
Catfight: Fuck 'em
Bimbo: That's my job

If you haven't seen this 80s movie and wanna laugh your ass off, I highly recommend it!