Soundtracked

SPAM Hunters, Day 1: Wabasha

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THE WABASHA STREET CAVES, St. Paul, MN: During Prohibition, the caves hosted delinquent dignitaries such as John Dillinger and Ma Barker at its speakeasy, but not everyone left dancing the Charleston. The caves are said to be haunted by three gangsters who were massacred in a back room and buried under the cement floors. Owner Donna Bremer says her employees and guests have seen figures dressed in suits from the '20s, and strange mists float through the halls. A ghost bartender refills wine glasses and the apparition of a madam named Nina Clifford appears -- and disappears -- in full period costume.

There's a bar in Wabasha County
that's haunted by ghosts from the '20's.
         As I finished my beer,
         Madam Clifford appeared
to fill my mug with a Spamtini.

The barkeep was nowhere to be found
as I took a good look all around.
         I was sitting alone
         drinking ham off the bone.
Can ghosts be held liable if I drowned?

When I finished my drink with a belch,
bar stools and my stomach rattled Hells.
         An eerie voice boomed long
         "Pay your tab and be gone
or your guts we'll serve next, Sir Hormel."