Thoughts & Things

The Final Countdown to NaNoWriMo

As I am writing this, I am a few hours away from the start of November, and therefore the start of National Novel Writing Month. I have been participating in WDC's October prep month all through, well, the month of October. I actually managed to complete this totally successfully and on time. A day early, even!

I have seven different prep documents that have all been added as research to my scrivener file. I set up my outline as my chapter cue cards in the manuscript section to make it as easy as possible to access. I also signed up for the Write-A-Thon here on WDC to help keep myself motivated.

I have never completed NaNoWriMo before, and I have never written a complete novel. I write pretty regularly, so I know that I can. I think it's simply lack of prep. I just haven't had enough material to work with during previous years. This year I definitely prepped enough. I think. I hope. I am pretty pleased with how the prep turned out, and I definitely feel like I have gotten to the point where I have more than enough material to work with.

Still, I can't help but feel anxious. I feel like my path as a writer is hanging in the balance of this one novel. I know that it isn't. I know that there will be other things I write. I know that there will probably be better things too, as progress is only natural. But I also know that it will take a huge toll on me emotionally and mentally if I end up being unable to finish this, for any reason at all.

I am trying to stay focused on the process. Focused on what I need to do and what I want to do. I am trying not to think too hard about what happens if I don't succeed. I am a little afraid to think about what to do if I do succeed, just because I don't want to get my hopes up prematurely. But it isn't hopes, is it? It's hard work. I have been putting that hard work in all through October, and I will continue to put that hard work in all through November.

So I try to let myself think about editing it, and about other people reading it, and about what would happen if I could even publish it. Those things are scary too. But those are the things I am working towards. I just have to allow myself to believe I can do this. I can write a novel.

Since the prep is done, but November hasn't quite started yet, I feel a bit... thumb-twiddly? Is that a thing? Actually, I don't care. I feel thumb-twiddly. I am trying to distract myself in the meantime. I agreed to write twenty minutes per day for Give It 100, so I figured a blog post expressing my anxiety would fill that nicely in the meantime. I think I will play video games and listen to music for the remaining two hours.

Best of luck to everyone else who is participating in NaNo this year! I look forward to using WDC properly during NaNo time this year.