When I wish not write, I come here. To relieve my thoughts. |
Dear Princess of the Universe Interestingly and oddly enough, as I had planned to write a short story today. I setup my station, for comfort, and ease of reaching whatever I may need. I flipped an unknown card over and on the back it read: “Take time for yourself today, write something about your life”. This Magic card also warned me, to take better care of myself, and get plenty of rest. Of course, as the card seemingly appeared out of nowhere on my desk, it’s vanished just as dubiously. There’s no one here and I haven’t gotten up for a stretch, which I am due for. I’m proud I have written as much as I have today, only I want to write in my blog, then write a short story that must get out of my head. Someone needs it. That ghost card, was 100% correct in its advice, and it wasn’t random advice like a fortune cookie. It was precise and correct in what it told me to do. I haven’t slept in three days. First day was busy, next two, I lost control of my thoughts, as the woman I love but am no longer with, came to visit me. I haven’t laid eyes on her in over a year, with good reason. However, I was guided through several unexpected tasks, by an energy is the only way I can describe. Our meeting was part of this guidance, nature made that clear to us once last night. Without going into much detail, let’s call this beautiful creature Talia I do not recall the exact part of the conversation, she used the word “premonition” regarding something I had said. Irony weighs in as the only “premonition” I ever had about her. Was grim, and though she had time to possibly save herself. She ignored all warnings, advice, common sense. She was an alcoholic, she drank straight vodka on Xanax. If you did not know this, as I and I’m sure most people don’t. Vodka/Xanax mix, is the single most lethal combination that can kill you effortlessly. You could be dying in front of your family, and not know your leaving earth in 3, 2, 1.... I believe an unexpected pregnancy bought her more time, as she appears to have stopped drinking (again). This time, she did not escape the addictions without a price. I did tell her several years ago, my “premonition”, as I saw it. I told her many times. Hoping I would catch her on a day before she went numb. I can’t be sad for her. She self-inflicted all sorts of damage inside her body. There was a time, I was debating proposing to her. Today, she barely remembers our time together. She knows she loves me, she told me so. Forever Talia, you will be in my heart. Should the greater powers that be, decide your purpose here on earth is complete, and set you free. You will take a small piece of me with you. I too, will be forever changed, or at least until I lose this body and become free myself. I’m already changed from your experiences and our interactions. Imagine talking to someone who is proficient at hiding they are drunk by 9:00 am. When I tell my readers, it gets worse. It does, it gets ugly too. I needed to get that out so I can hopefully make it through my next short story I will write today. Talia, is different now, not the woman I fell in love with, yet my love for her. Permanently preserved in our history. In my mind, powered by my heart, forged onto paper. I pray for her any and every way I know how. My premonition years ago, she will not make 50 years old. Today, she is 32. Based on facts today, I do not believe she will reach 40 years old. Not that that alone doesn’t feel like it’s killing me. Her memory loss tortures me. Though I harness every active energy field in my body, my instincts, my well-known insight, I cannot come close to how scared she is, how she must feel. Though I support her with my love, I care for her. She’s beginning to distance herself. I think, she thinks, I don’t know how bad things are for her. The reality is, I know, I know more than she thinks I do, and I am fully aware of how bad her insides are. I understand the distance too. Animals do something similar when they know, they are dying. I share this, in hopes, anyone debating going that extra mile, taking extra steps, to help their loved ones in any similar situation. At the first sign. Be vigilant, use intervention, seek professional guidance if you’re a friend. Wage war on behalf of your loved ones. Because they can’t. In this situation, the illness has a side effect, of creating false realities. They don’t even know which memories they possess are even real or not. Oh my friend, if I could, I would take the pain upon my body to make you pain free. I’m not giving up my life though. I may not fully know my purpose yet, I have clues, signs, etc. The greater powers that be, will not be done with me for many years. I know that too. Because I listen, I avoid false signs or signs I really want to fit my current situation. I asked her once, if she believed in Magic. She said no. That’s a shame. Magic is everywhere, in every square inch of our lives. Most of us are simply unaware, and don’t bother to learn. Seems humanity either “knows everything”, or will condemn you and label you “crazy” just for uttering such things. I’ll do my homework, as I have always done in my adult life and business world. After all, Knowledge is power, using that power, is an Action. Dumb fucks used to burn women and men tied to poles called stakes, on bundles of wood. As they chanted Die Witch, Die Warlock…… |