Frayed Feisty Threads - Book IV

Lost

I watched my life spin
         before my eyes -
It would not stop.
I did all the usual things -
Cried all the usual tears
Nothing works

Songs hurt, places were sore thorns
         in my side
But worst of all- -
The empty, bottomless feeling
         of nothing.

Nothing sucking me up into its
         black vastness,
Engulfing, swallowing and
         surrounding me
I am drowned.

This wrenching nothing surrounds
         me-tears at my heart
Is there no place but death?
Death's darkness seems cool,
         inviting.
The price of peace
         inflates
         and invites.

I am all these feelings;
I remember other feelings;
Why can I not remember
         your face?

The depths of nothing wrenches
         my soul-
Twisted in blackness, searching
for light, I am numb.
Where has life gone?
The scream inside
         becomes a whisper...

No known date; suspect mid to late 1980's