Reflections: A Book

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I love to read and watch/go to the movies. I love to travel and I love being with someone who doesn't have to fill every silence; whether over the phone or just sitting in a room enjoying each others company.

I want someone who will encourage me to be BETTER. I need someone who wants to do better for themselves. You don't have to be perfect or have great credit, but you have to be able to admit to your flaws and strive to get a strong grip on your finances.

I can't put into words what makes me unique...or rather there aren't enough words currently available to accurately describe myself.

I literally love all music just as I literally love all people.

I'm naturally a homebody/hermit but I love being coaxed out of my shell and indulging in all life has to offer.

I don't mind playing it safe but I yearn to be thrust out of my comfort zone when the time is right and or it calls for it.

I am indeed a BBW but I don't want to be. My weight and my finances are probably the largest hindrances to full time happiness in my world, but I love smiling anyway. It's not always easy to make me laugh but when I do it comes from my belly.

At 30, I'm at a place in my life where I want something real. I don't want to waste time texting/e-mailing. Work keeps me busy and drained during the week and I hoard most weekends like precious gemstones but I'll make the time for someone who takes my desire for a relationship seriously.

The POF Relationship Chemistry Test (POFCT) ▼

Plenty of Fish


The Plentyoffish Relationship Chemistry Test (POFCT) measures five broad dimensions of personality that are each essential for building a romantic relationship. It's not the case that a person must be “high” on each of the personality characteristics to be in a relationship. Instead, what is important is how your personality interacts with the personality of your romantic partner on each dimension. Or what is commonly called “chemistry.” Based on decades of empirical research in psychology, the POFCT captures the five key ingredients that can determine whether or not two people have the “right” chemistry. The dimensions are:
Self-Confidence, or the degree to which a person feels comfortable with him or herself. People that are high in self-confidence tend to be assertive and competent in both their private and public relationships. People that are low in self-confidence tend to be reticent and somewhat anxious.
Family Orientation, or the degree to which a person supports and values the family. People that are family oriented tend to want or already have children, are very close to their immediate relatives, and prefer cooking at home to eating at a restaurant. People that are not family oriented tend to be individualistic, unconventional, and very much enjoy attending parties and social functions.
Self-Control, or the extent to which a person exerts control over various aspects of life. People that are high in self-control tend have strong emotional reactions to things and try to regulate those feelings by micromanaging and attending to specific details. People that are low in self-control are usually relaxed, even-tempered, and lenient.
Openness, or the extent to which a person is open to and dependent upon others. People that are high in openness tend to like a wide range of things (e.g., food, music, movies, etc.), in part because they are concerned with pleasing other people. In contrast, people low in openness are very independent and opinionated; they know what they like and aren't apt to change their opinion.
Easygoingness, or a person's work ethic and degree of mental flexibility. People that are high in easygoingness are very relaxed, broadminded, and unaffected by change. In contrast, people low in easygoingness tend be hardworking, firm, and sometimes inflexible.
afaith86 Relationship Chemistry Test Results

Self-Confidence


As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation


As someone who respects family values, you tend to enjoy the company of family-members and are open to living a domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent, but may occasionally wish to “cut-loose” and let your true colors show. If you don’t have children, you probably desire having a family sometime in the distant future. Although you occasionally enjoy cooking at home, you also like going to restaurants. This has the potential to create added stress as you transition into parenthood.

You are attracted to the idea of having a family and may be willing to work hard to achieve this, although not necessarily any time soon. This conflict is illustrated by the fact that you don’t mind doing things around the house—like cooking and entertaining guests—on the one hand. But, on the other hand, you also like going to restaurants and parties. It’s possible that in time you might prefer spending time at home more because you won’t feel like you’re missing anything when you don’t go out.

One aspect of yourself that makes you likely to become more family oriented is that you generally know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you have some of the basic ingredients to enjoy family life. Maintaining a tidy home, keeping a well-stocked kitchen, and making sure the kids are safe is a tough job. So attending to these things, while also taking care of yourself, may prove somewhat difficult for you.

Self-Control


The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness


As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.

Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing.

Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.

Easygoingness


Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?



Given the strong degree of confidence that you have, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Because you respect family values but appreciate a good night out on the town, you probably get along well with people that are different from you. For this reason, you would probably be quite content in a romantic relationship with someone who shares your same values on these issues. Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who enjoys both spending time at home and going out to eat.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you likely get along with most people quite well. Chances are that your friends and colleagues perceive you as lively, fun to be with, and good-humored. When it comes to romance, you’ll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling.

Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique.
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