Randoms by Rach

Technology for the Dumb

CES 2017 (Consumer Electronics Show) opened this week in Las Vegas, Nevada, and here are some of the weirder items on display and potentially coming to a store or online shop near you. Any thoughts or opinions on any of the items? Anything you might be interested in?

Okay. The Kerastase Hair Coach. I have serious issues with this. Here is the description, as per the website:

"The Kérastase Hair Coach is a gadget for goldilocks. Powered by smart tech company Withings, the hairbrush connects to an app and is supposed to "improve hair health over time." This means you can learn to "understand and improve brushing patterns" via a microphone that listens to your hair as it's brushed, sensors, and a corresponding app that tells you how damaged or dry your hair is.

The brush is just a prototype, so I was unable to figure out just how tangled my hair was."

Firstly, the brush "listens" to your hair as you brush it. With what? I see no ears! So don't tell me it listens. Don't tell me, firstly, my hair speaks and, secondly, a hairbrush can hear it. Please! This makes me the kind of angry that makes me want to shout at my laptop. However, I'm in the process of trying to convince people I'm sane, so I'll leave the shouting for now. But seriously . . . oh, hang on a moment . . . no! I'm wrong. My hair has just informed me hairbrushes don't need ears. They hear from deep within their plastic/metal.

My other issue with this gadget is: what kind of imbecile is unable to tell how tangled, or dry, their hair is? I know every detail of my hair. I know the placement of every single, miserable grey hair. I have them all in my sights. I don't need a hairbrush to tell me.

Wow. My vehemence has kind of surprised me. But this is the kind of pointless, modern-day idiocies that really pushes my buttons. It's like, do the companies really think we are that stupid? I don't know. *Shakes head*

That car, also. The electric super fast car. U.G.L.Y. I'll have a super sleek Aston Martin DB9 Vanquish any day. In purple.