Fighting For A Life Worth Living

The Effects of Fat Shaming

American society is funny in the fact that we cry for equality, but at the same time we are bullies. I was taught at a very young age that you do not call someone retarded and then my mother explained why. I could not use the word since it essentially was ridiculing someone with disabilities. I did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings and never referred to someone acting or being retarded again. Society has taken a group of people and singled them out, targeting them, and insulting them. This movement has grown so large it has its own term: fat shaming.
I am a 27 year old woman who is morbidly obese. I have struggled with my weight beginning in childhood. As a teen I lost 40 lbs. with support from my parents. One of the ways my dad thought he was helping was by policing everything I ate. If I wanted to have a doughnut he would scoff and say “you don’t want to eat that, it will make you fat.” I quickly developed my own thoughts on what it meant to be fat.
To me fat determined self-worth. I didn’t date in high school because I thought that no one would want to date a “fat” girl and didn’t attempt to have a relationship. If I had applied for a job and didn’t get it, I told myself that someone prettier and thinner must have applied. Why would anyone want to hire a fat girl? Telling myself I didn’t want to be fat caused me to lose any self-confidence I had. I was hyper focused on not wanting to be fat that the stress was too hard to handle. When I tried to diet and exercise I would lose inches and not weight. The longer the scale wouldn’t move the more stressed I became until I couldn’t handle it and gave up completely; instantly binging and gaining 20 lbs. Depression would sit in until I was fed up with being fat and decide to lose weight again, repeating the cycle. 10 years later I am nearly 300 lbs. The cycle still continues. Years ago I made up my decision on what being “fat” means, I was wrong.
According to Merriam-Webster.com Fat by definition is: having a lot of extra flesh on your body: having a lot of body fat. Yet society insults obese people making us feel useless and unwanted. As an obese woman I want to lose weight, become a healthier person, and to achieve it I have joined weight watchers. I have promised myself I will not give up and I can reach my goal. Here is my final plea to you society. Right your wrong. Because of you, I have been unnecessarily broken. I have had unrealistic ideas of what it means to be fat and all I ask is for your support. If you see an overweight person doing physical activities, honk your car horn and give us a thumbs up. Wave with a large smile on your face or give us a word of encouragement. Lift us up instead of tearing us down. Developing a healthier lifestyle is not easy and any extra support would be gladly welcomed. Fat shaming can end if we come together.