Thoughts & Things

My Top Five Weirdest Dreams

Ever since I was a little kid, I have always had exceptionally strange dreams. They are often vivid and disturbing nightmares, that feel intensely real at the time, despite their more... fantastical nature. They don't seem to be inspired by real life, although they often become rather cinematic in nature. I thought it might be fun (or terrifying, who knows) to share some of these with anyone who might be interested. They are not ranked in any particular order, these are simply the five strangest dreams I can recall having.

1. One of the earliest dreams I can remember having is also one of the dreams that most impacted me. I was probably not much more than four years old the first time I had it, but it was a recurring nightmare for years. There was a puddle of goo on my basement stairs, but it was an evil goo. I lived in the country, so seeing mice wasn't uncommon, but for some reason this dream featured rats. These rats ran through the goo, but it caused them to become large and terrifying to look at. They kind of looked like evil muppets, I suppose. I think it's probably because I was so young when the dreams started. Anyhow, these evil muppet rats, converted to evil by the goo, plotted to murder my whole family. Every dream they would plot something different, but it was always the same pair of rats. Sometimes they would get my family into the goo to turn them against me and have my own family kill me. Other times they would try to build an evil army out of my toys so that they could kill everyone in the house. I couldn't possibly say why I was having such disturbing dreams at that age, but it terrified me for years. I actually can recall avoiding the spot on the stairs so that I wouldn't step in this dream goo.

2. Another early bizarre one I had when I was quite young happened to star a celebrity. In fact, three out of five of these dreams star a celebrity. The moral of the story is: don't be a celebrity in my dreams. I was about nine or ten when I had this particular dream. I don't remember every detail of this one. It was styled like an action movie. Robin Williams and I were fighting evil. I was the hero and he was the comic relief, of course. In any case, the villain (a woman in a leather catsuit) shot him in the groin, leading to his death. Later, he returns, apparently having not died. This shocks the villain before we defeat her. This one has always struck me as incredibly odd. I don't think most ten year old kids dream about Robin Williams getting shot in the groin by a woman in a leather catsuit?

3. As stated previously, my dreams tend to be rather cinematic. Ever since I was a child, I have had a series of recurring dreams that can be summed up as "if my life turned into Jurassic Park." Generally speaking, these dreams tend to focus around myself, my family, and my friends as we are all chased about my home town (population: 1400) by a tyrannosaurus rex. It's funny, because the movies make the raptors seen a fair bit more frightening due to their intelligence, but that's not really what matters in my head. These dreams also tend to have a great deal of train accidents in them as well, and I couldn't possibly explain the origins of those.

4. In recent years, I have ended up with extremely graphic dreams that essentially amount to torture scenarios. I could probably send a therapist's children to college because of these dreams. The most notable one took some incredibly weird turns. Molly Ringwald and I end up getting kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer. I told you my dreams are not kind to celebrities. Anyway, this guy cuts off our feet and sews them back onto us backwards. I don't know where my mind could have possibly latched onto us as an idea, but there it is. I don't want to get too descriptive on this one, because it was genuinely gross and upsetting for me, and this particular blog is only rated 13+.

5. The last of the dreams I am sharing today is another celebrity based one. This is actually probably the weirdest of the dreams on this list (and I feel like that's saying something!). Seth Rogen and I were hanging out. We were totally best friends, but he dragged me out on a shady drug deal, where he ended up getting shot. The car with the shooter speeds off, leaving me holding him as he dies. It gets stranger from here. So he dies, and I'm crying and really cinematic sad music is playing. Then his wife shows up. She hates me because she thinks we are romantic, even though we are just friends. I am wearing a sari (I have never in my life worn a sari) and she is Indian, so she takes this as me mocking her in her husband's last moments on earth. She rips my sari off, and leaves me naked, crying in slow motion now, in the streets, the cinematic music still playing. I straight up have no idea how this dream came to be. This is the dream I whip out when people bring up weird dreams because, well, beat that?

(I have committed to blogging daily with Give It 100. This is Day Six.)